Chapter 151

5.z.

Franklin Buck raced to Corporate Man’s side, hunching low in the ever constricting space.  Fair Wage had regained his footing and was helping Senior Executive stand.

“We’ve got to get out of here,” Franklin Buck said, slap-tapping Corporate Man’s face.  “Inflation's out cold so there’s no one to stop it.”

Corporate Man rolled onto his knees and pressed his fingers into his temples, eyes squinting. 

“Report!” he called out.

“Demand is still secure and Supply has already shaken off the attack.  Their size ratios are equalizing,” said Business Woman.  “Fair Wage and Senior Executive seem viable.”

“I need an exit,” said Corporate Man.

“It’s that way,” Fair Wage said, pointing off into the flickering darkness.  “It’s quite far.”

“Then let’s move,” Corporate Man said.  

The Union lumbered off.  Fair Wage and Corporate Man each grabbed a corner of Professor Inflation’s cape and dragged the limp form.

It wasn’t long before they were forced to their hands and knees in the shrinking space.

“We’re not going to make it unless we lose the professor,” said Fair Wage, the floor pressing his back up against the ceiling.  Corporate Man did not hesitate and released his grip on Professor Inflation’s cape.

“Where is it, Fair Wage?” Franklin Buck called out.  He was well ahead of all the others.  “I’m at the corner of the room and there’s no ex–”

The floor fell away beneath him and Franklin Buck tumbled away into the darkness.  He screamed.  The sound was deafening in the cramped space.

“What just happened?” Corporate Man yelled.

“Franklin.  He disappeared.  Dropped through the floor,” said Business Woman.

“Into the sharks?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe.  Wait.  I hear him.  He says it’s okay.  We’re going in after him,” she said.  Business Woman, Supply, and Demand rolled into the void in the floor.  Senior Executive dropped in right behind them.

Corporate and Fair Wage were on their stomachs, army crawling, the floor still pressing upward, about to crush them into the ceiling.  They felt pressure on their chests and on their backs, friction now hindering their movements.

Then they toppled into the shaft and landed on something soft and spongy.

“Did everyone make it?” Corporate Man asked.

“Yeah, I think we’re all accounted for,” said Senior Executive.  “But where are we?”

A seam of light pierced the darkness as Fair Wage opened a door embedded in one of the walls.  The Union crept through opening, careful and cautious, and found themselves in a reception area.

“Good morning, and welcome to the offices of Incorporated Business Corporate Incorporated.  Section Thirteen here at Jacob Center Tower.  I’m Betty.  How may I assist?”

They froze. 

Most of the Union held their breath.

Betty didn’t seem to notice the awkward pause, nor did she seem eager to sprout blades from her fingers and attack.  Corporate Man finally took a breath and approached the desk.

“Well, Betty, we’re all finished here but they said we were needed upstairs.  Would you advise us where to go next?”

Betty smiled and said, “I suggest you take the elevator.”

She gestured toward a set of doors opposite here desk.  Corporate Man, expecting to see the entrance to a stairwell, was surprised by the elevator doors.  He thanked Betty and pushed the button marked with the upward pointing arrow.  The doors slid open and a man in a long trench coat flinched, his eyes flaring wide.  His hand flashed inside his coat and he shoved an odd, square barreled gun against Corporate Man’s chest.

Chapter 149

5.x.

Professor Inflation circled, his flickering image jittering in a wide arc.  Franklin Buck instinctively backed away, fearing that every flash of light would reveal a charging adversary.  The floor and ceiling were still converging but it was doubtful that he’d survive long enough for it to be a real concern.

“Pathetic,” said Professor Inflation.  “Your father never backed away.  Not once.  You’re not worthy to wear his tacky green suit.”

Franklin Buck stopped, his shoulders slumping slightly with shame.  Then, slowly, he raised his fists up in front of his face.

“Oh, that’s rich,” Professor Inflation said.  “Priceless even.  You’re ‘the dollar man.’  That might have meant something a long time ago.  When the dollar had more value.  Maybe if you were the One Hundred Dollar Man, or even the Ten Dollar Man, I might hesitate, might not do what I’m about to do.  But the Dollar Man?”

Professor Inflation moved with a slow deliberateness, making sure his actions could be seen in the strobing light.  He pressed a large button on his wrist gauntlet.  Marquee lights surged up and down the piping of the Professor’s pink suit and cape.

“Wow!  What a show huh?  You can see me now can’t you, Dollar Boy.  Are you ready?  You ready for what’s coming?”

Franklin had to hunch over as the floor continued to converge on the ceiling.  He squirmed a bit and answered, “I… I think so.”

Professor Inflation cocked his head and said, “Really?  Even with…” he gestured to the limp forms of the other Union members strewn about them.

“Well… Yeah.  I’ve been thinking,” the Dollar Man said.  “My name’s Franklin.  So why can’t I be the One Hundred Dollar Man?”

“Because that’s absurd,” said Professor Inflation.  “You can’t just suddenly declare that you have more value.  And change you name.”

Franklin Buck shrugged.

Professor Inflation charged.  A flicker image of the caped menace strobed through the dark, the marquee lights visible throughout the attack with the professor’s body disappearing into the black as the fluorescents blinked.

A snap kick flashed toward Franklin Buck’s head.  The image frozen in light one moment, gone in the following black; marquee piping continuing to trace the maneuver.  In the next burst of light Franklin Buck gripped Professor Inflation’s ankle, the kicking foot only four inches away from the Dollar Man’s face.  There was no change in the next few after images.  The two men remained locked in this stance for an eon of a heartbeat.  Then Franklin raised his free hand, elbow brushing against the ceiling, and called out, “Feel the crushing weight of ten thousand pennies!”

He hammered his fist across Professor Inflation's chest, driving the doctor of malign economics to the ever rising floor.  In the flickering light, Franklin Buck raised his hand again and said, “Fell the purchasing power of the One Hundred Dollar Man!”

The next hammering blow pounded the remaining wind from Professor Inflation’s lungs.  A third knocked all conscious thought from his brain.

Chapter 148

5.w.

Professor Inflation lobbed something toward Corporate Man and then ducked behind a column.  There were columns everywhere.  The entire floor was one gigantic space with hundreds of floor-to-ceiling columns throughout.  Long fluorescent bulbs, placed like grid work, illuminated the space with a sickly glow.

“Price Bomb!” yelled Corporate Man as he leapt aside. 

The object struck the ground with a metallic clunk, fastened to the floor like a magnet, and exploded soundlessly, sucking all the noise from the air.

Senior Executive held up his portfolio, shielding the Union from the Devalue-Void created by the blast.  Wind whipped around him, threatening to drag him forward into the financial sink but he held his ground and the Price Bomb fizzled out.

“Welcome to my lair,” Professor Inflation said from somewhere.  His voice echoed throughout the open space disembodied and threatening.  “And to your economic ruin.”

The professor dashed out from behind a pillar, reached up, slapped two silver discs on Supply’s knees, and dashed back behind another column.  From the discs came a high pitched breet and a flashing blue light.  Then sound, like a bug zapper, crackled as a high voltage charge buckled Supply’s legs and brought the towering woman to the floor.

She moaned and writhed.

Business Woman rushed forward to assist as Corporate Man tried to gather his team together amidst the confusion.  But it was too late.  Professor Inflation was out of the shadows again, attacking.  He grabbed Franklin Buck, pinning the newest member of the Union’s arm behind his back and jabbing a large needle under his chin, up into his jaw. 

Franklin screamed.  This caused the needle to jerk and scrape around inside him.  This caused him to scream even more.

“We are not having a stand off,” Professor Inflation said, pulling Franklin Buck in tight like a human shield.  “I will suck the value from this man with my liquidating needle.  I merely pause for dramatic effect and to tell you that I have a plethora of wonderful implements with which I will dismantle all of you.  As for this gentleman–”

But Professor Inflation didn’t finish.  His hand remained motionless on the plunger of the hypodermic needle as a diamond card pressed against his Adam’s apple.

Fair Wage rose up behind the Professor and said, “I’m immune to your tricks Inflation.”

Professor Inflation smiled, “ That may be, but I doubt your friends can claim protection against… RISING COSTS.”

There was a shudder throughout the floor and a pneumatic hiss steamed from all the columns in the room.  Then the floor moved, rising slowly towards the ceiling.

“And so the financial pinch will crush you all,” Professor Inflation intoned, gesturing in triumph with his velvety gloved hands.

Fair Wage snorted dismissively.  “That old bit.  Won’t work Professor.  You’ll have to come up with something better than that.”

Professor Inflation’s smile widened.  Then he feigned a look of puzzlement and said, “Oh dear me!  You wouldn’t, perchance, mean something like… this?”

He clapped twice with pink gloved hands and the lights went out.  A surge of panic coursed through the dark.  The Union Members called out to each other but everyone was speaking at the same time. 

“I’ve lost him,” shouted Fair Wage.

“Quiet everyone!  Center on my voice,” said Corporate Man.  “And move to my position.  Business Woman?  How’s Supply doing?”

“Recovering.”

“Can she hold the crush of this fiscal death trap?”

“I’m trying,” said Supply, “but the force is too great.”

“Where’s Inflation?” said Senior Executive.

“If I’m north and you’re south, he’s to the west of us,” said Corporate Man, holding the greed gun in his hand.

“Interesting,” came Professor Inflation’s voice.  “I’m not quite sure how you did that.  Doesn’t matter.  Useless.  I had no intention of killing you in the dark anyway.”

A bright light strobed, leaving freeze-frame images of the Union members imprinted on the successive blackness.  In the flickering of images the caped form of Professor Inflation rushed in from the concealment of the columns and surrounding dark.  The attack came in the space of three strobes.  On the first flash he was on the periphery.  On the second he was in amongst them.  The third flash revealed the decommissioning punch, or chop, or kick.

By the fourth strobe, he was gone.

One by one the Union members fell to Inflation.  Fair Wage was not taken directly, but toppled under the limp form of Senior Executive after the Professor had hurled him toward the old man in the ragged brown suit.

Corporate Man used the Greed-Gun to locate Professor Inflation’s position.  He turned to face his flamboyant attacker, dodged the first punch and swung a retaliatory blow, but when the light flashed on, his fist swept through empty space.  Inflation had Corporate Man in a submission hold before the light went out again.

“Down with the Union.  Down with Corporate Man,” said Professor Inflation.  He jabbed a knuckle into Corporate Man’s temple.  Corporate Man crumpled to the floor. 

Professor Inflation chuckled, low and maniacal, then said, “And now all that’s left is you… Dollar Man.” 

Chapter 143

5.r.

Professor Inflation stood in front of a full length mirror admiring the way his cape fluttered when he twirled.  A tinkling chime sounded from the desk computer and a pleasant voice intoned, “The Union has escaped the sharks.”

Professor Inflation didn’t seem to notice the voice and continued to appreciate his image in the mirror, cocking his head first this way then that, puffing out his chest, arching his back slightly, and flexing his butt muscles.  Then he sauntered over to the computer, his attention lingering on the mirror a moment longer, even as he walked away.

“Looks like it’s almost time,” he said, pulling up a video display with a few nimble keystrokes.  On the screen Corporate Man and the rest of the Union were nearly neck deep in the water of the little room.

“Hmm…  It’s interesting, but it lacks drama now that the sharks are no longer a factor.  Run market scenario number six and alert me when the fun starts.”

He trotted back to the mirror and whirled his cape across his body and up in front of his face.  Then he snapped it to his side like a matador.  He curled his lip into a snarl. 

No.  Too much. 

He tried a sly grin. 

Almost. 

He added a slow wink.

Perfect.

Chapter 131

5.f.

The thirteenth floor of the Jacob Center Tower was unique in that it had multiple levels yet still comprised only one unit of floor designation.  Corporate Man and his friendly little Union were currently experiencing great financial trouble on level C.  Two levels above them, on level A, was an office.  In that office was a person neither Betty nor Jack.  A person of flesh and blood and vast economic knowledge and disdain.

This person was Professor Inflation.

He sat at a console overflowing with buttons, toggles, levels, slides, roller balls, monitors, blinking things, numerical readouts, various printer feeds, and small speakers. 

He was grinning.

And he was wearing his cape.

Triggering fiscal death traps always seemed more appropriate when wearing a cape.