In hopes of easing the burdens of
being an Alaskan with Corporate Man material just out of reach, we offer Part
Three of our three part Alaskan Edition of Satisfied Customers.
Last time we discussed Mama Alaska ’s very clever ranger-station-distribution of The Tragic
Death of Corporate Man books. And since
ranger stations are like the crossroads of the wilderness (the only things that
break up all those trees and rivers and bears) it didn’t take long before all
the people of Alaska were familiar with the exploits of Corporate Man and his
business themed compatriots.
Soon, the merchandising
began. Nothing too clever at first. Always inebriated the Alaskan mind found the
subtleties of the Corporate Man universe difficult to emulate in their rugged
world. Their first campaign was
successful, but not something to be particularly proud of.
A State sponsored push to increase
cigarette sales.
It wasn’t so much the championing
of Big Tobacco that cast a shadow on this initial revenue growth strategy, as
it was the utterly lowbrow technique of the campaign. Just glue a cigarette to the book and
customers will be back to buy the rest of the pack by the end of the first
chapter.
The next Alaskan ploy looked like
this.
A very brilliant scheme. Using Corporate to market not-at-all-haunted-and-or-creepy
dolls to children was a smash.
Unfortunately there was some cross pollenization between the first and
second marketing campaigns. This
normally would not have been a problem. After
all, babies in Alaska are weaned on cigarettes.
Until they reach puberty the kids up there call them binkies. What got everyone so riled up were the images
that leaked to other states of toddlers puffing on a cancer sticks while
dragging those creepy dolls things around.
For awhile it seemed that
Corporate Man’s moment in the great northern sun was at an end. And then along came Mama Alaska once again. An
article appeared in one of those gardening magazines. A cover story featuring here incredible
garden.
A gardening boom swept across the
state with sales of statuary at the forefront.
Everyone wanted sculptural pieces that would best accent their Corporate
Man books. Mama Alaska ’s garden featured forty-seven copies of The Tragic Death
of Corporate Man.
Soon it became a challenge to see
who could incorporate the most Corporate Man books into his or her garden. And the State has never looked back. They’ve fully embraced the Corporate Man
ideology and are continually seeking out ways to further incorporate the books,
and the economic principles contained within, into their daily lives.
To commemorate our return to
serialized publication, temporary though it may be, we commissioned Mama Alaska to create a unique line of merchandise for the
occasion. And so, with great pride, we
here at the Corporate Man Blog would like to present Mama Alaska ’s latest money maker, made with real Alaskan grit, the
Corporate Man: Ever Changing Acceptable Standards of Facial Hair play set.
Order yours today!
And so we say to you, our mad
Alaskan neighbors, our number one fans, keep buying those Corporate Man
books. Show all those other states who
the number one consumer of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man is. I hear Hawaii and Idaho are catching up to you so be sure to double your next bulk
order.
The End.
To purchase copies of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man and other works by Tom Landaluce, please choose your format and follow the appropriate link.
Corporate Man Books:
These Odd Morsels:
On Kindle
Book 1 - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0088FKNSI
Book 2 - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BMI5A5E
These Odd Morsels - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EOCJ808
Kindle version for Europe . (Corporate Man 1, 2, and These Odd Morsels)
On Nook
Corporate Man Book 1 - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-tragic-death-of-corporate-man-tom-landaluce/1111781640?ean=9781105848728
