Welcome to my blog.
My name is Corporate Man. The bulk of the content displayed on this
website relates to the tale of my demise.
The great tragedy of it all. The
heroism and the sadness. The information
you encounter here should be considered of the highest importance and those
seeking advancement will want to pay heed as the upper executives are always
watching.
I hired Tom Landaluce to pen my death memoir. Yes, that
Tom Landaluce. It would be downright
vulgar of me to list his many accomplishments here and I doubt any of you wish
to be insulted with information you already know, so I won’t do it. If not for the recent economic downturn and
the many vices to which Tom regularly succumbs, I doubt even I could have
afforded his services. Still, misfortune
for some, prosperity for others. Isn’t
that economics in a nutshell?
If, at any time, you wish to exit this ride, please see a
physician and have your head examined. You
are not well. Far from it. Peak health is typified by a compulsion to
share this document with all those nearest and dearest to you. To spread the word. The story you are about to experience will
define a generation and the severe depression you will undergo if you try to
abandon it will dwarf any pains that the act of reading text may exert upon you
brain. It is my assumption that reading-related
headaches are the only reason you may wish to exit this particular ride. Please report any such headaches via e-mail. If there is sufficient demand, a line of
Corporate Man pain relievers will be green-lit and you will be directed to the
shelves of your local pharmacy, grocer, or gas station.
Actual printed books and e-reader versions of this tale are
available and make great gifts. I highly
recommend them for corporate seminars and other such soul crushing wastes of your
work force’s time. The cute little girl
on the main page will direct you to the various markets where these books may
be purchased. Buy in large quantities
and use the expense as a write off come tax time.
I love you all and expect ample tears at my funeral,
Corporate
Man
A helpful afterward.
It is inevitable that the share price of Corporate Man stock will go
into significant decline with the event of my death. Plan accordingly.