Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Memo from CM
Welcome to my blog. My name is
The bulk of the content displayed on this
website relates to the tale of my demise.
The great tragedy of it all. The
heroism and the sadness. The information
you encounter here should be considered of the highest importance and those
seeking advancement will want to pay heed as the upper executives are always
watching. Corporate Man.
I hired Tom Landaluce to pen my death memoir. Yes, that Tom Landaluce. It would be downright vulgar of me to list his many accomplishments here and I doubt any of you wish to be insulted with information you already know, so I won’t do it. If not for the recent economic downturn and the many vices to which Tom regularly succumbs, I doubt even I could have afforded his services. Still, misfortune for some, prosperity for others. Isn’t that economics in a nutshell?
If, at any time, you wish to exit this ride, please see a physician and have your head examined. You are not well. Far from it. Peak health is typified by a compulsion to share this document with all those nearest and dearest to you. To spread the word. The story you are about to experience will define a generation and the severe depression you will undergo if you try to abandon it will dwarf any pains that the act of reading text may exert upon you brain. It is my assumption that reading-related headaches are the only reason you may wish to exit this particular ride. Please report any such headaches via e-mail. If there is sufficient demand, a line of Corporate Man pain relievers will be green-lit and you will be directed to the shelves of your local pharmacy, grocer, or gas station.
Actual printed books and e-reader versions of this tale are available and make great gifts. I highly recommend them for corporate seminars and other such soul crushing wastes of your work force’s time. The cute little girl on the main page will direct you to the various markets where these books may be purchased. Buy in large quantities and use the expense as a write off come tax time.
I love you all and expect ample tears at my funeral,
A helpful afterward. It is inevitable that the share price of Corporate Man stock will go into significant decline with the event of my death. Plan accordingly.