Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).

Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

After nearly a decade of imprisonment, Corporate Man returns to find the economy in ruins and his deadliest enemies in control of all but a fraction of society's wealth. He embarks upon a quest to set right the wrongs of the business world; a task that will ultimately destroy him.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Chapter 130

Corporate Man led the group out of the conference room and said in a loud voice, “Alright.  Let’s go find the break room.”  Then, in low voice, his lips barely moving, his attention on the hallway in front of them, he said, “We’re in serious trouble here.”
“I know,” said Business Woman.  “Inflation.  Do you have a plan.”
“Wait.  What’s going on?” asked Franklin Buck.
“Quiet, Dollar Man,” Senior Executive hissed.  “We can’t let him know we’re on to–”
“Are you looking for the break room?” Betty asked.
“Oh.  Um, yeah,” said Corporate Man.
“Right this way,” said Better, smoothing the sleeve of her pink blouse. 
Reluctantly, they followed.
Franklin Buck squinted his eyes as he walked.  Then he rubbed his chin, scratched the back of his head, and looked quite puzzled.  Finally he asked, “Weren’t you wearing a different color blouse earlier?”
Corporate Man’s eyes went wide and he glared back at Franklin.  Both Business Woman and Senior Executive hissed.
“What?” said Franklin Buck.
“No.  It’s the same one I’ve been wearing all day,” said Betty.
“Uh uh.  No.  The other was blue, or purple or something,” Franklin Buck said.
“It’s inappropriate to notice a female coworker’s attire,” said Corporate Man.
“But I wasn’t–”
“Noticing anything about our female coworker’s attire,” Senior Executive said.  He moved in close to Franklin and whispered, “What do you notice about all the employees in this office?”
Franklin looked around.  There were various men and women milling around, or walking from one place to another, or reading through memorandums detailing the company’s new snack food invoice procedures.  Then he saw what Senior Executive was hinting at.
“My god.  They’re all the same,” he hissed.  Every employee strolling about the office of the thirteenth floor was either a Betty or a Jack.  The only difference was a slight hue-shift in their business apparel.
“Keep your mouth shut,” Senior Executive said, low, hushed, and angry.
“Though robotic workers have not become a cost effective solution, and therefore remain ineffective when combating rising costs, a dedicated development strategy will ensure that preprogrammed office workers will one day become an affordable business tool, requiring no bathroom breaks, sick days, vacation time, food, or water with simple regimen of routine maintenance checks to ensure a long lasting career,” Betty said.
“Shit.  Here it comes,” said Corporate Man.
“Additional benefits to cost cutting measures include the ability to serve as our own security staff,” Betty continued.  She raised her hands and spread her fingers. The knuckles popped, snapping away from each other, doubling the length of each digit, and creating a menacing, mechanical hand.  Her finger tips split and thin blades flicked out.  When she next spoke her voice echoed over the public address system.
“All units converge.  Alert code: Price gouge!  Alert code: Price gouge!”

Monday, October 29, 2012

Chapter 129

“Who wants to read this page?” asked Jack.
Business Woman raised her hand and smirked.  Jack nodded toward her.  She made some mumbling humming noises and then read the last word on the page aloud and clearly.
“Super,” said Jack.  “Now, let’s implement some of these techniques.”
“What’s going on?” asked Franklin Buck.
“Yeah.  Did I miss something?” Fair Wage said.
“Ah, there you are, Betty,” said Jack as Betty walked into the room.  She held a ledger in one hand.  “Betty will go over the measures with which we will cut down on spending.  Betty?”
“Thank you,” Betty said, smoothing the sleeve of her lavender blouse.  “Refreshment expenditures are the largest area of unnecessary expense.  If you note subsection E of paragraph nine under article one, you will see that we’ve managed to turn this loss into revenue.  Hence forth all refreshments and snack food items will carry a nominal fee.  I’ve taken the liberty of noting everything each of us in this room has partaken of and drafted invoices.  The cost may be deducted from your paycheck or simply be paid up front.”
“Thank you Betty.  Please send a memo to the rest of the staff and distribute bills accordingly,” said Jack. 
Betty passed out invoices and then left the room.
“Wait,” said Franklin Buck.  “So… are we employed here now?  And seven bucks for a coffee?  This is crap coffee not an extra large, triple shot, caramel latte.”
Corporate Man gestured to Franklin, indicating that the Dollar Man should calm down.
“But I can’t afford this,” Franklin Buck said.
“Jack,” said Corporate Man, ignoring Franklin.  “As it is mandated by government regulations that employees shall be provided prescheduled breaks, I suggest we observe such a break at this time and continue when we return.”
“Oh.  Break time already?  Take five, people,” said Jack.  Then he slumped forward in his chair as if he were catching a little cat nap.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Chapter 128

The offices of the thirteenth floor were warm and inviting, with rich woods, deep earth-tone colors, and green leafy plants in stout clay pots.  Employees milled about abundant water coolers while stainless steel refreshment carts, laden with pastries and other snacks, were wheeled from office to office by smiling attendants.
“Something is not right,” Corporate Man said, eyeing their surroundings with suspicion. 
“What’s wrong?” asked Senior Executive.
“Look around you.  For an office of IBC Inc. there sure is a lot of fat.  A lot of excess.”
“This is the central office,” said Business Woman.
“Yes, but these are still basic subordinates.  At least as far as I can tell.  Not executives.  And what are they doing here?”
“Working.  Obviously,” said Senior Executive.
“Are they?  They seem to be milling around an awful lot.  But I meant, why here?  In the floor accessible only by secret stairs?”  Corporate Man shook his head and then bit one of his knuckles as he tried to concentrate.
“Conference Room A,” said Franklin Buck.  “We’re here.”
They went inside.
In the center of the room was a mammoth table with eight black leather folders situated atop its glossy surface.  True to Betty’s claim, there was bottled water, coffee, tea, and pastries.  Everyone made a small plate of snacks and chose a beverage before sitting at the table.
“Okay this bizarre,” said Business Woman.
“This is good,” said Franklin Buck, holding up a small, cream filled cake.
“Are we supposed to assume that these folders are for us?” asked Demand, his fingers brushing across the black leather.
“Let’s find out,” said Corporate Man. 
He opened a folder.
“Good.  You’re all here,” a man said as he walked into the room.  He wore a short-sleeved white shirt with a red tie.  “We’ve got a lot of material to cover and very little time for action.”
He smiled and his mouth gleamed white.
“And who might you be?” asked Business Woman.
“I’m Jack.  I run all the meetings in Conference Room A.”
“Why are we here?” asked Senior Executive.
“For a meeting,” said Jack.
“What kind of meeting?” asked Senior Executive.
“Probably a very long one,” said Jack.
Senior Executive pushed his chair away from the table but Corporate Man signaled him to hold his position.  Then Corporate Man asked, “What are we going to cover in today’s meeting?”
“Good question,” said Jack.  He held up the black folder and said, “We’re going over the contents of this folder.”
Both Business Woman and Senior Executive muttered curse words and let their heads loll.  Corporate Man opened the folder and read aloud, “Budgetary Matters.  Combating rising costs in our industry.”
“That’s right,” said Jack.  “Now let’s get started.  Who’d like to read the first page?”
Senior Executive and Business Woman slumped and groaned.  No one else volunteered so Corporate Man continued reading, “Rising costs are a normal occurrence in the economy.  There is little one can do to lower these increases but there are ways to cope.  One.  Cut down on spending.  Two.  Find ways to increase your income.  Three.  Invest in a higher yielding instrument.  Four.  Control wages.  Five.  Minimize liquid assets…” Corporate Man trailed off, shook his head, and then skimmed over the remaining list reading only the last entry aloud. 
“Great,” said Jack.  “Everyone, please turn the page and we’ll jump right in to number one.  Cutting down on spending.”
Everyone turned the page.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Rumor Mill from the Boise Comic Book Company

The Boise Comic Book Company (proud sponsor and affiliate of Corporate Man) puts out a weekly newsletter containing staff picks, shipping lists, and the latest rumors floating around the comic book industry.

Below is a re-post that rumor list.  Call them [(208) 546-9471] about anything that peaks your interest.


Unsubstantiated Rumors:
-A recent Justice League rumor was brought to my attention recently
(thanks Phil-bot!) that Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson confirmed via his
twitter account that he has agreed to play Lobo in the forthcoming
Justice League movie!

-In other comic book movie rumors, it was leaked that Dr. Strange may be
making a cameo appearance in the Thor sequel! According to the rumor,
Dr. Strange may be played by Viggo Mortensen!

Confirmed Rumors:
-After a long hiatus, Gerard Way is coming back to comics with a new
comic, “Killjoys.” Way sings a bit about the Killjoys on My Chemical
Romance’s most recent studio album, and so there may be some connection
to this new project and the post-apocalyptic themes of that album.

-Grant Morrison is working with rap icon turned director RZA to bring
“Happy” to the big screen. RZA will direct and Grant Morrison will write
the script. They plan to produce the movie first, than take it to a
financier or a movie studio to sell.

-DC is cancelling five titles by January 2013- Blue Beetle, Grifter,
Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E., G.I. Combat, and Legion Lost. DC has
already announced the release of Threshold and Justice League of
America. However, if DC sticks to the 52 plan, and it seems like the
will, that means there are possibly three other new titles coming in
February 2013 that have yet to be revealed!

-Artist Steve McNiven and writer Brian Michael Bendis are working on a
new Guardians of the Galaxy team, which will feature regular team
members Rocket Raccoon, Groot, Drax the Destroyer, Gamora, Star Lord,
and Iron Man.

-The newest character to don the mantle of Nova is getting his own
series, written by Jeph Loeb, with art by Ed McGuinness.

-Secret Avengers will be relaunching, as an espionage unit working
directly under S.H.I.E.L.D. The book will be written by Nick Spencer,
with art by Luke Ross. The cast for this team has several members
confirmed, including the new Fury, Hawkeye, Winter Soldier, The
Incredible Hulk, a new Iron Patriot character, and Black Widow will all
be involved.

-”Batman: The Dark Knight Rises” script-writer David Goyer is teaming up
with DCnU guru Geoff Johns to pen a 13-issue event series. When this
series will come out and what it will be about are details DC aren’t
sharing just yet.

-Super-popular writer Rick Remender will be bringing his creator-owned
comic “Devolution” to Dynamite Comics! “Devolution” is a pulp
grind-house science fiction story that Remender has purportedly been
working on since he began work on “Fear Agent.”

-Garth Ennis is writing and directing a series of webisodes based on his
hit mature-audiences only comic “Crossed.” These webisodes will
culminate in a live-action movie! Though given the extreme nature of The
Crossed, its hard to imagine this film will not be direct DVD!

-Emily the Strange returns to comics in full color next year! “Emily and
the Strangers” is a new mini-series featuring Emily’s quest to win a
haunted guitar!

-Jeff Lemire, on the heels of the end of his creator-owned sensation
Sweet Tooth, is in the commander’s seat for Vertigo’s next epic
maxi-series, Trillium. Billed as the last love story ever told, it looks
like a science-fiction thrill ride about Nikia Temsmith, a botanist at
the edge of known space! Lemire has said that it will be a 10 issue

-Oni Press announced two new Cullen Bunn titles: a spin-off of his very
successful “Sixth Gun” titled “Sons of the Gun,” as well as Helheim, a
Viking horror story. They’ve also got an original graphic novel,
horror-based adaptation of “Babes in Toyland” titled “Wars in Toyland”
by writer Joe Harris and artist Adam Pollina. The story is told from the
point of view of Teddy Bear dictator Roxbury, and young brothers Matthew
and Alex, who are trying to lead the revolution against Roxbury and his
toy soldiers! They also announced the launch of a new Oni website, which
will publish serialized web comics weekly.

-Superstar writer Scott Snyder and hit artist Kevin Murphy are releasing
a new Vertigo title in 2013 called “The Wake.” It is described by Snyder
as “a big, twisted, sprawling, science fiction and horror epic, which
begins with a single, terrifying discovery at the bottom of the ocean.”

-Jim Lee and Scott Snyder will be working together on a brand new title
launching next year that is yet to be named! It’s coming out, in part,
in celebration of 75th Anniversary of “Superman”!

-Through a few different interviews, it has been suggested though not
confirmed that the character in “The Superior Spider-man” will NOT be
Peter Parker, though Parker and company will still be central characters
to the series. However, writer Dan Slott is being particularly cryptic
on this point when asked directly if there is a new man behind the
Spider. The fate of Peter Parker seems to be up in the air, but it seems
indicated at least that while something terribly bad will befall him,
he’s not being killed off.

-DC has a new cosmic anthology series coming called “Threshold.” Some of
the heroes and villains confirmed for inclusion in the main story in
this new series include Blue Beetle, the Omega Men, and a new Green
Lantern named Jediah Caul. It will also include a back-up story,
featuring Orange Lantern Larfleeze!

-Announced at the New York City Comic Con, Ethan van Sciver will be
taking over art duties on Batman: The Dark Knight!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Chapter 127

Visitors.  She never got the chance to receive visitors here on the thirteenth floor.  She was, after all, at desk two and desk two was positioned to receive clients entering from the staircase.  Visitors were extremely rare on the thirteenth floor and no one ever came up the stairs.  Why bother when there was a very comfortable, highly functional, elevator on the opposite side of the building?  Yet here they were, sweaty and out breath.  Seven of them.
She reviewed her list of welcoming parameters, she had never needed to employ her meet and greet protocols, and said, “Good morning, and welcome to the offices of Incorporated Business Corporation Incorporated.  Section thirteen here at the Jacob Center Tower.  I am Betty.  How may I assist?”
“Water,” Fair Wage said, his voice raspy as he stumbled toward the water cooler.
“Please help yourself,” Betty said as she straightened the sleeve of her periwinkle blouse.  “It is listed among the top requests of potential visitors.”
“Hi Betty, my name is Corporate Man.  Perhaps you could explain to me what this place is exactly.  What do you do here.”
“Oh my, that’s rather simple Mr. Corporate Man.  This is an office and I am a receptionist and my duties state that I am to warmly receive you and ask you to wait until they are ready for you.”
“Who are they?  And when will they be ready for us?” Corporate Man asked.
They are the people you are here to see and they will see you after you have waited the appropriate amount of time.”
“This is asinine,” Business Woman said.
“Oh no,” said Betty, “Forgive me, but I must correct you.  This is Corporate America.  This is how it works.”
“Can I slap her?” Business Woman said, her hands on her hips, her head slightly titled as she cast an impatient glare at Corporate Man.
“Since that worked so well with the CEO at Waldos…” Corporate Man muttered.  He looked back at the receptionist.  “Betty, we’re investors.  We represent a conglomerate of interested parties and national organizations.  We are not to be kept waiting.”
Business Woman rolled her eyes.  Senior Executive allowed a blast of breath to derisively escape his nostrils.
Betty nodded and said, “This assertion is congruent in fact as well as in inclination.  Please advise your colleague that he may wish to forgo the offerings of the water cooler for the bottles of sparkling water that await you in Conference Room A.  Coffee and tea are also available as well as an assortment of pastry items.  You may go in now and please… have a lovely day.”
Senior Executive approached Corporate Man as they filed past the reception desk and, in a hushed tone, said, “What was that?”
“What?  You didn’t think they called me Corporate Man for nothing did you?”

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Boise Comic Book Company

In the world of high finance and corporate espionage it is perfectly okay to outright steal in order to appease that all important deity, The Bottom Line.  In keeping with that tradition we humbly offer worship by stealing the description of The Boise Comic Book Company's facebook page in order to fill out this post.

The Boise Comic Book Company started as a book store ran by Jerry and Carol Morelock back in 1979. They grew as big as three stores at one point and were the original comic book company in town. Under new ownership, the legacy continues and people will continue to read great comics and receive great service. 

Our experience is great. Craig Hilpert has been a comic book collector for years and has worked in the business for the past six years. His philosophy is that there is a comic book out there for everyone just waiting to be discovered. If your an avid reader, just looking to get back into reading comics or are only getting started, Craig will get you pointed in the right direction.

General InformationOur goal is to fill your needs, so if you have any questions, comments, concerns or need a special order, give us a call or shoot us an e-mail. We look forward to serving you!

The Boise Comic Book Company
7011 W. Fairview Ave.
Boise, Idaho 83704
Phone: 1 208-546-9471

Monday, October 22, 2012

Support Small Businesses 1

With the wild success of Book 1 of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man, huge multi-national corporations were throwing money at us, practically begging for advertising space.  I told them yes.  Give me that money.  But then the company stooge started writing out the check on one of those snooty, extra long checks.  You know the ones, right?  In that leather binder, three checks to a sheet with little tabs for notes on how best to write off the expense on their taxes?  Well that was a deal breaker for me.  I said to him, "Where were you in January when this blog debuted?  Where was your money when I needed it?  Now I got money thanks to Corporate Man and you think you're gonna give me more money?"  He nodded like I'd just asked the stupidest question in the world.

So I walked away.  I felt low.  And a bit dirty.  I needed a pick me up so I went to the one place guaranteed to lift my spirits.

The comic book shop.

Craig, The Comic Book Guy, handed me a small stack of my favorites that he'd kindly held aside and that's when epiphany struck.  I should use the power of Corporate Man for good.  I should follow the example set forth by the subject of my own superhero creation and set about making the economy a better place.  So starting now, this blog will spotlight small businesses that are friendly to Corporate Man.

The Boise Comic Book Company is such a business.  Avid supporters of the world's favorite economic superhero they have agreed to carry copies of the paperback in their store.  Go visit them at 7011 Fairview Avenue in Boise and buy a copy.  You can even order a signed edition, just inquire at the counter for details, and look for more posts about our friends at the Boise Comic Book Company in the future.

Store hours are Monday 11-5, Tuesday & Wednesday 10-8:30, Thursday - Saturday 10-7.  Phone (208) 546-9471.  Check out their facebook page

Chapter 126

The Tragic Death of Corporate Man
a hero for capitalism;
champion of the working class

by Tom Landaluce

Section 5:
Betty Bots, Sharky, and the Big Squeeze.

The stairwell glowed blue like the numbers on a digital cash register display.  There were no guard rails and the steps were backless platforms which added to the company’s unease.  The most disconcerting aspect of the endless stair was its positioning in large shaft.  It did not hug the outer wall of the chamber or curl tightly against itself.  Instead, the steps hovered at least two feet away from the exterior walls and left a five foot void running down the center.
The trip was slow going.  Fair Wage was winded after the first couple of flights and frequent rests were necessary.  The journey seemed to last for hours; days if someone had bothered to ask Fair Wage.  It was even suggested that the staircase ran all the way to the top of the building.
“The stairs are moving,” Business Woman said.
Everyone froze.
She was standing a few flights below with her arm held over the drop, touching the exterior wall.
“Well, it’s stopped now, but when you were all climbing it felt like the wall was moving up.  This suggests that the stairs are probably going down.”
“You’re joking,” said Supply.
“Afraid not.”
“Oh god.  How many more flights do we have to go?” Fair Wage gasped.
“I don’t know,” Business Woman said, “but I suggest that the majority of us stand still while Fair Wage and Senior Executive continue the climb.”
“Wait, what?” said Fair Wage.
“Yeah, what’s that going to accomplish?” asked Senior Executive.
“Maybe nothing but, in the business world, procedures are often put in place in order to screw the majority.  So when most or all of us move, we all get screwed.  If only a couple of people move…”
After a long pause Corporate Man said, “That actually makes sense in a ridiculous sort of way.”
He nodded and both Senior Executive and Fair Wage continued the climb.
“Why Fair Wage?” asked Demand.  “Shouldn’t we give him a break?”
“Well, in all likelihood, the stairs will move against us as soon as the majority resumes the climb.  This way Fair Wage won’t have to mount so many steps.”
A few minutes later Senior Executive called down, “Hey, we found it.  There’s a landing up here with a door.  It’s only about ten or eleven flights above you.”
The party made their way up to the door.  The stairs remained stationary so long as Fair Wage and Senior Executive stood on the landing. 
When they were all gathered in front of the door Corporate Man said, “I don’t know what we can expect on the other side, but if these stairs are any indication the environment will not be friendly.  Be prepared and stick together.”
He reached for the handle and opened the door.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Satisfied Customers 6

Yes.  It’s Corporate Man himself.  Actor extraordinaire and perpetual ladies man, Ian Clarke.  His is the face you think of when you think Corporate Man.  His is the likeness that launched a worldwide franchise of economic superheroes.

And here he is, having a beer and reading a chapter or two of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man to a bevy of female admirers.  If ever there was a reason to buy the book it would be this image.  Attach yourself to his greatness by obtaining your own copy of this phenomenal work. 

Do not hesitate.  Don’t you dare dally. Buy it this minute
Make your order at today.. 

Counting Down

Just the weekend and the rest of this Friday separate you and the launch of the second book in the Corporate Man saga.  Today's Satisfied Customer is a special treat that will completely trump any other pleasant experience you may have today and its brilliance will probably diminish the joy of next week's pleasures as well.  Except, of course, the three chapters of Book Two that will post Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Anyway, look for the special super secret spectacular Satisfied Customer post later on today.  In the mean time, busy yourself with more repeated viewings of our wonderful ads for books One and Two.  Buy extra copies of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man and leave them in random places or, when you're picking up your morning caramel mocha, have the barista give a copy to the car behind you.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Satisfied Customers 5

This trophy husband of famous documentary film maker and belly dancer Cecilia Rinn isn't just man candyChad Rinn is also a filmmaker, a writer, and a dancer.  In other words, his experience with life and his opinions on matters of the written word should carry some weight.  

Here’s what he had to say about The Tragic Death of Corporate Man:

Chad’s a busy guy these days.  When he’s not dancing he teaches a Magical Passes class for the Starbelly School of Dance, and there’s always a film project on one burner or another.  He's working on a book called Itch, so far filling up several hand-bound journals.  It is guaranteed to blow your mind when it breaches.  Check out FTB Productions for a clearer picture of the Man Chad and his hectic world.  That said, he still had time to read and respond to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man.  This means that you’ll have to come up with a really good excuse if you aren't current on your reading.  

Try to raise the bar.  
Live up to the high standard set by Chad.  
Buy the book.
Make your order at today.

Satisfied Customers 4

This is an amazing story.  These savvy satisfied customers, we’ll call them Ms. R and Mr. T (no relation) bought several copies of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man and strolled into an economic summit in Las Vegas with a twenty dollar fold out card table and began auctioning the books off.  A financial fervor ensued that was overwhelming. 

Bedlam. Chaos. 

Imagine all the slot machines in the city paying out at the same time.  That’s what it was like.  Those buyers fortunate enough to secure copies early on were, within minutes, using techniques gleaned from its pages to increase their net worth.  This drove auction prices through the roof.  Soon, additional card tables were set up nearby and secondary auctions of the now “used” books were fetching insane prices.  The mayhem lasted for five days.

And Ms. R and Mr. T (no relation)?  They bought a chain of tropical islands and wear nothing but tans these days.  It is said that they saved one copy of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man. They keep is on the tank of their solid gold toilet.

Learn from their success.  Buy multiple copies and prosper.
Make your order at today.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Satisfied Customers 3

Another satisfied reader, Mr. Ken, brings something unique to the table.  Money.  See that cash?  He gave it willingly to obtain the oh-so-sweet copy of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man which his eyes are eagerly devouring.  Why is this unique?  Doesn't everyone shove money at me to get these sought after novels of superhero commerce?  Well, yes, they do, but Mr. Ken was offered a copy for free due to a previous favor he provided to the near-genius author.  Mr. Ken wouldn't have it.  He insisted on forking over his hard won Washingtons, so grateful was he for the opportunity to own an early edition of the book.  So confident was he in its quality.

That’s devotion.  That’s integrity.

That’s Mr. Ken.

Sadly, these are traits we find lacking in most of today’s role models.  Avarice and ego run rampant and threaten to unravel this great nation.  More of you should follow Mr. Ken’s lead.  I think simple proximity should do the trick.  Get a consistent dose of Mr. Ken Magic at his blog, Archenemy Comics.  Ample exposure to his honest syntax is all you’ll need. 

Read his words, heal your mind… heal the world.

Also you must buy a few copies of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man. 
Make your order at today.

Be Prepared

I know the week long hiatus is killing you, but I promise you this:  
Book 2 is worth the wait!

In the meantime, re-watch our now legendary commercial and its brand spanking new sequel ad.  Buy extra copies of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man for friends, relatives, and down-on-their-luck street people.  The holidays are just around the corner so don't neglect those eager-for-literature Christmas stockings.  Can't you just picture it?  A big, juicy orange in the toe, a layer of Corporate Man Brand money scented chocolate candy, maybe a Business Woman or Senior Executive action figure from our Little Subordinates line role play dolls, and, peaking out above the white, fuzzy top of that velvety red stocking, the greatest economic superhero book ever produced.  Santa ain't got nothing on you.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Satisfied Customers 2

Continuing our series of satisfied readers we spotlight Mr. Gold.  He’s a long time and extremely enthusiastic advocate of Tom Literature.  This is the man who bought multiple copies of The Actual Letters and reads a paragraph of the book every day at the darkest moment before the dawn.  He knows the secret alphabet and draws black masks on pictures of sheep. 

Mr. Gold insists that The Tragic Death of Corporate Man should be shelved in the Business section and carry an additional sub heading: How to Succeed and Make Bank in a Ruined Economy. 

If you’d like detailed explanations of all the subtle nuances hidden within the Corporate Man adventures, Mr. Gold is the man to seek.  You can find him performing about town with Inanna’s Temple where all that Tom inspiration comes flowing out Mr. Gold’s fingers through ebony and ivory keys.  

Be like Mr. Gold.  Buy as many copies of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man as possible.  Make your order at today.

Coming Soon...

Next week we will begin posting chapters from Section 5, the opening of Book Two of the saga that is The Tragic Death of Corporate Man: a hero for capitalism; champion of the working class.  This is all new material that has not been released previously in paperback or e-book form.  So those of you that have stuck with the chapter by chapter updates and didn't plonk down a small pittance of cash for the paperback or e-book versions, I am rewarding you for some irrational reason.  This is your chance to be the first to know.  One of the hip.  The blessed.

Also, we will be spotlighting some local businesses in the coming months.  Forward thinking entrepreneurs that are friendly to the likes of Corporate Man and to the talented author of his tale.  First up will be The Boise Comic Book Company.  More about them next week as they will be the focus of our first spotlight.  I mention them here because they were not only kind enough to be our first sponsor, but, more importantly, have agreed to sell copies of the Corporate Man paperback along with the oh so wonderful comic books they supply on a weekly basis.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Satisfied Customers 1

This week, while we await the epicness that is Book 2 of the Corporate Man Saga, we'll spend a few moments visiting with one or two of those fortunate millions who have bettered their lives through the acquisition of life enhancing literature.

Pictured above are the lucky owners of the very first copy of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man.  We'll call them Mr. and Mrs. Wonteverhaftaworkagin.  See that money?  That's not payment for the book they cherish and it's not dirty cash bribing them to pose for a photograph.  That's the returns of day's interest on the ever accruing value of their first of first editions text.  Look upon them with envy.

But don't despair.  You too can own a limited edition copy of Book 1.  You'll want to hurry, though.  Each book ordered has the date it was printed clearly designated on the last page and the longer you wait the less important your copy will look in the eyes of others.  

Don't wait!  Invest in your future...NOW!

Make your order at today.

You will never regret the purchase and a surplus of good will flood your life simply because you own a copy of this book.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Another Brilliant Commercial

Chapter 125

A back up unit had arrived just after Bud managed to stabilize the woman who had one or two more teeth than normal.  The two injured men were separated and his partner tended their wounds.  The backup crew loaded the woman into their rig and while they helped escort the men to the awaiting ambulances, Bud followed a trail of blood across the lobby floor, down a long corridor, to the far corner of the building.  There he found a bleeding man next to a large black column. 
For a moment he thought he saw blue light coming from cracks in the column’s surface, but when he reached the injured man he noted that the column was solid and smooth.  He radioed his partner to advise that there was a fourth victim and immediately checked for vitals.
There was a heartbeat.  And breathing.  And then a string of obscenities that figuratively sent Bud’s ears to the burn unit.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Chapter 124

It was by sheer luck and frustrated brutality that the optical verification unit of the retinal scanner triggered a positive identification.  Corporate Man, after repeated attempts to convince the bossman on the need to divulge the information that would grant the Union access to the secret entranceway, slammed the bossman into the column, pinning the wounded and wincing man’s arm to his back.  When the racking pain subsided and the bossman opened his eyes to glare defiantly at his attacker, the roaming lasers of the scanner passed over his iris and verified his executive position with Incorporate Business Corporation Incorporated.
A strip of glowing blue letters appeared on the column.
A moment later another set of words appeared.
The bossman tried to pull his hands close to his chest, hoping that his captors might forget that he also possessed executive level palms but Corporate Man had no trouble arresting control of the bossman’s forearms and forcing the North Side Branch manager’s hand against the glass.
There was a hissing sound, much like one hears when unscrewing a gas cap on a car that’s been run below the empty line.  An outline of blue light appeared in the black column as a door shaped panel pushed away from the structure and swung open revealing a set of eerily illuminated stairs.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Chapter 123

In regards to the corner columns of the Jacob Center Tower it has been established previously that an executive elevator exists in the foremost of the columns between the lobby entrance doors and that a service elevator occupies the opposite corner at the rear of the building.  It has been alluded to that hidden entrances lie in the remaining two side columns but that no obvious access exists in these two structures. 
That is because they are secret.
Not surprisingly, each provides entrance to an elevator shaft.
One column’s elevator runs up to the thirteenth and twenty-sixth floors as well as down into the labyrinthine sub-levels of the tower.  Once again it should be noted that the structure of the Jacob Center Tower is much like that of a glacier.  The majority of its mass exists below the surface.  There are entire colonies of employees down there and the place is so huge that, sometimes, it may take nearly three hours for a staff member to make his or her way to the surface.  This tremendous “commute” created the need for overnight lodgings and a chain of subterranean hotels, restaurants, movie theaters, grocery stores, and other conveniences soon filled the niche.
The other column is unique in that its elevator shaft contains not an elevator, but staircase.  This leads to the thirteenth floor.
Inside each glossy black column is a camouflaged panel of dark glass.  Behind this panel sits a retinal scanner and a hand print identifier. Both identification devices must register a positive confirmation of the applicant’s distinguishing features in order for access to be granted.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Chapter 122

Bud had worked emergency service jobs for years and was fairly certain that he’d seen it all, but what he found in the lobby of the Jacob Center Tower was something new.
The first oddity was that no one from security greeted him and his partner.  There weren’t even any panicked bystanders or concerned citizens or perverse voyeurs.
It didn’t take long to locate the victims, however, since they were only about twenty yards from the building entrance.  Three injured on the ground.  One female.  Two males.  And a lot of blood.  The two males were grappling with each other.   The fight was mainly a series of writhing, pinching, slapping, cursing, name calling, and poking of fingers into each other’s bullet wounds.  They seemed to be under the impression that each feeble attack must be given some sort of name.
And then there was the female.  She held a handful of bullet casings and was jamming them into her mouth one at a time to cap her many bleeding teeth.  Once the casing was embedded in her gum line she pried on them as is trying to snap her teeth out.
“Hmmm,” was all Bud managed to say to his partner before they set to work.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Chapter 121

“Donkey!” Corporate Man yelled, his hand pressing against Donkey’s abdomen.  “Hold on.  Help is on the way.”
“I’m… I’ll be fine.  Oh, oh god it hurts.”
“Don’t talk,” said Corporate Man.
“Why did she shoot me?” Donkey asked.
“I don’t–”
“What did I do to her?  I don’t even know who she is.”
“I think she was trying to hit me,” Corporate Man said.
Donkey’s face pinched.  “How could she miss?  You were right there.”
“Come on, man.  Don’t talk,” said Corporate Man.  He glanced over at Business Woman.  She and Franklin Buck were tending to The Elephant’s injuries.  Supply and Demand were busy trying to stabilize the kidnapped executive from the IBC Inc. North Side office.  Senior Executive knelt on the crazy, gun toting woman.
“Help is on the way,” Corporate Man said again.
“No.  You can’t let them catch you,” Donkey said.
“Well we can’t leave you here to bleed out.  Now shut up and conserve your strength.”  Corporate increased the pressure on the wound.  Donkey squealed.  Startled, Corporate eased off.
 “He got to me first.  I was scared.  And he said he could help me.  That I just needed to keep you from infiltrating his operation.  He’s the one in charge of it all.”
“Shut up, Donkey!  You weak hearted fool,” The Elephant spat.  He struggled to stand but Franklin Buck and Business Woman pushed him back to the floor.  Fresh blood spurt from his shoulder.  He continued to struggle but surrendered in a heap of breathy grunts when Business Woman jabbed her hand, knife like, into his groin from behind.
“Where’s that ambulance?” Corporate Man shouted.
 Panting, Fair Wage ran up and said, “I just got off the phone with them.  They said that no one had called in yet, but that they did have a unit in the area.  It should only be a minute or two.”
Donkey coughed and clutched at his stomach.  When the spasm subsided he said, “His office is the top floor of this building.”
“That’s good, Donkey.  Saves us the trouble of searching the place,” said Corporate Man.
“Listen to me.  You can’t just hop on the elevator and ride up there.”
“Shut up you tree hug–” The Elephant started but was once again reduced to wheezing groans by Business Woman.
“Secret entrances.  In the building’s corner columns.  In back is the service elevator.  Up here is the one he uses, but don’t try it.  If you get into that one you’re dead.  Use one of… of…”
Donkey passed out.
“Oh shit, oh shit.  Is he dead?” Franklin Buck asked.
“No.  Unconscious,” said Corporate Man.  They could hear approaching ambulance sirens.  Corporate Man lowered Donkey’s head to the floor.  Then he marched over to the bossman and grabbed him by the throat.  “How do we get in?”
The bossman’s head lolled around and he said, “Sorry.  That’s confidential information of Incorporated Busin–”
Corporate Man pressed his thumb into the bullet wound in the bossman’s cheek.  “Tell me.”
The bossman cried out.  Corporate Man released the pressure.
“Oh my god, I’m gonna throw up.  I’m gonna die,” the bossman said.  He squealed and whimpered and then, in a slightly calmer voice he said, “I’m gonna die and then throw up and after that I’ll be sent to a hell full of teenaged drivers.”
“Tell me how to get in and you won’t go to hell,” Corporate Man tried.
The bossman laughed.  Then he winced at the pain this caused.  When he’d recovered, he shook a finger at Corporate Man and said, “Oh no.  Not falling for that silly ruse.  Besides, if you aren’t a corporate executive… you don’t get in.  Period.”
Corporate Man bit his lower lip and allowed his gaze to wander.   The sirens outside were much louder now.  He nodded unconsciously, and then he stood and called out to the Union, “Let’s go.  And bring him with us.”
“Wait.  What about Donkey and the others?” Fair Wage asked.
“The paramedics are here.  They’ll take care of them.”
“Where are we going?” asked Franklin Buck.
“We’re going to become corporate executives.”

Monday, October 1, 2012

Chapter 120

The Big Bossman flicked the toggle switch for the security desk to the “off” position.  Then he grinned.  That had gone off far better than he had expected.  And the woman with the guns and the really terrible aim.  He couldn’t have paid someone to be more convincing.  Sure, by virtue of their political careers, Donkey and The Elephant were trained liars, but any real motivation was lacking.  This woman’s rage was palpable, even through the security cameras; as was her dental profusion.  She had to be on his payroll in some capacity.  If so, she’d receive a bonus.  If not, a job offer.  In the meantime she would receive the very best of medical care.
All in all, a successful venture.  Corporate Man and his pathetic Union had infiltrated the building and were under the assumption that they were unwelcome guests.  Now, if only Donkey would behave according to form, they’d be precisely where the Big Bossman intended them to be.