Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Everything looked grainy, like footage from a cheap camcorder in the early days of video technology. Harsh shadows dominated the urban landscape and there was a squealing hiss and a hollowness to the air.
A huge, hulking form lurched into view, disturbing the static stillness and a barrage of battle sounds erupted like heavy thunder as the hulking form was surrounded by smaller, scuttling forms. Bursts of light snapped and popped around the large man-shape as a small man wearing olive green and a black beret flung some sort of small objects.
The other scuttling people wore brightly colored costumes though something dulled the hue, like a set of grade-school watercolor paints mixed with dirty black water.
The hulking man thing knocked the scuttling forms away with a sweep of his giant arm. Then he pounced, clamping a beefy hand around the small olive green man’s chest. The beast yanked on one of the small man’s arms until the shoulder dislocated. The small man screamed and the huge behemoth roared and yanked harder, unrooting the small man’s arm, tearing it from the joint. The hulking form tossed the broken man aside and bludgeoned the other scuttling man-creatures with the dismembered appendage.
A man wearing a fedora and a black domino mask swung down from a fire escape and called out, “Donkey! Elephant! Formation six. Miss Pension get Two Cents out of there, he’s getting pummeled. Ben, put a tourniquet on Commander Credit’s arm!”
Donkey and The Elephant took up positions on opposite sides of the behemoth as Miss Pension darted into the fray and grabbed Two Cents before he was struck with the bloody arm again. The Elephant charge the giant man-thing head on while Donkey rushed the thing’s blindspot and kicked. The Elephant took a couple of rough shots, but Donkey’s kicked succeeded in unbalancing the hulking creature.
“Bull Market, Fair Wage! Now!” the man in the fedora called out.
Two more scampering brightly clad men rushed in toward the massive man-beast. Fair Wage swung a hefty plank of wood, connecting squarely on the big thing’s nose as Bull Market punched its midsection.
At first the hulking brute seemed stunned, but when Fair Wage pressed for another attack the thing struck out at blinding speed, knocked the smaller man to the ground, and stomped on him. Bull Market doubled over and bellowed. His blunted teeth cracked and thick hair sprouted through his skin like deadly grass. Beneath the hulking beast’s foot came the sounds of grinding bones and Fair Wage’s muffled screams.
“I’ve got him, John,” a voice rang out as Corporate Man jumped down from a building near the man in the fedora. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, but whenever The Crash is on the scene, my necktie cape seems to malfunction.”
Corporate Man charged forward and slammed into the massive leg of The Crash, toppling the hulking man-form and freeing a very broken Fair Wage. The Crash rolled up and slammed a giant fist into
From the fire escape the man in the fedora called out a few more orders and then spoke into a wrist watch, “John Q Public to Business Woman, do you copy?” Business Woman, where are you?”
“Right here,” a crackling voice came through the right watch. In the street a woman with bold slacks and noticeable shoulder pads in her dress jacket round house kicked The Crash in the face. Before he could shrug off the attack, Business Woman dealt another snap kick to its sternum and then to its knee.
The Crash fell hard.
Miss Pension distributed a flurry of solid punches to the thing’s face and Ben Buck the Dollar Man leapt on top of The Crash and battered its midsection.
“Let’s wrap it up people,” John Q Public said. “I want a–”
A hairy bear shaped thing slashed Ben Buck’s side open and turned on Miss Pension, snarling and gnashing. The Crash rolled up onto its feet and grabbed Corporate Man by the necktie.
“What’s going on down there? Report!” John Q Public shouted.
“It’s Bull Market,” Business Woman said, rushing to aid Miss Pension. “I don’t know what happened to him. I think he’s gone Bear!”