Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Donkey charged forward and punched Demand in the back of the neck. The man in the dark purple suit and mauve necktie crumpled and released his grip on the bossman’s wrist. Supply tightened her hold on the bossman’s other arm, jerked him in front of her, and used him as a shield against Donkey’s attack. Donkey used the bossman as a punching bag. He wondered vaguely who it was that he was hitting and why a member of the
would stoop to using a human shield.
Mostly, he was reveling in the tortured sounds the man made when he
worked the body instead of the face.
Senior Executive reached into the inner pockets of his grey suit and rapidly flung a series of business cards at Donkey. They flew like ninja stars and stung with all the power of a well designed business tool. The aim was precise, connecting with pressure points and nerve clusters. Donkey jerked and spasmed. Supply whipped the bossman around, leveling Donkey with her improvised administrative bludgeon. The bossman’s howls turned to gasping seal barks. Supply dropped him and he rolled away, unsure of which injury to grope at first. Supply then brought a hammering fist down on Donkey, dropping him like a freight container of weighty overstock.
The sound that popped from Donkey’s throat was indeed something that real braying jackasses have made before, though only in severe circumstances.
“Now that’s was a real ass sounds–” The Elephant grunted and clutched his balls. When he tried to push himself up but Business Woman landed a knee in the small of his back. She struggled to pin him, twisting his arm until his wrist touched his shoulder blades.
“You two better explain,” Corporate Man started, but the report of a large caliber handgun exploded through the lobby.
The woman with more teeth than the average person advanced on Corporate Man, firing shot after shot from her gleaming, silver revolvers. The bullets made strange, high-pitched, zipping sounds as the screamed from the barrels.
A vase behind Corporate Man shattered. A tile on the floor beside him blew apart. Another bullet ripped through The Elephant’s shoulder and another took out his knee. The bossman caught a round in his chest, then his inner thigh, then his cheek. A lamp exploded near Franklin Buck and Donkey grunted as a slug pierced his gut.
The woman with more teeth than the average person stopped, fifteen feet from Corporate Man, and said, “I know what you’re thinking. Did she fire six shots or only five? In all the excitement I–”
“Nine,” Corporate Man said. “You have two guns.”
The woman with more teeth than the average person looked at her guns, puzzled.
“And you’re misquoting,” said Business Woman. “It goes–”
“Who cares how it goes! Somebody take her out!” Franklin Buck screamed from behind the heavy lobby furniture thirty yards away.
Senior Executive stepped forward, chopped her wrists, and knocked the guns to the floor. He narrowed his eyes and said, “I remember you. I never forget a cattle prod.”
The woman with more teeth than the average person howled with rage and kicked at him. Senior Executive dodged the kick, elbowed her in the stomach. As she doubled over, Business Woman brought a knee up into her toothsome face. A tinkling sound danced across the glossy tiles as the woman with more teeth than the average person fell back and found herself in a familiar, unconscious state.