Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Monday, February 11, 2013
“What’s happening to him? What’s going on?” Franklin Buck squeaked.
“Take a guess. You saw what we saw,” Business Woman said. “Those things are inside him. Nothing good’s coming that’s for sure.”
Fair Wage threw his head back, his arms shot out from his side, strained and epileptic. There was a tearing, ripping sound, like perforated paper, splitting pant seams, and high pressure flatulence.
His body spasmed, slammed back against a carpeted wall, fingers digging into the fibers. Fair Wage’s eyes went wide and pleading, glancing at his teammates, bouncing from face to helpless face.
A soft whimper.
Then a paralyzed silence.
A gash tore him open from crotch to throat, splitting his chest wide. A noxious gas and a mist of vaporizing blood sprayed from the ragged wound. A brown mass convulsed inside Fair Wage’s torso and then it climbed out roughly leaving a skin husk in a frayed brown suit on the floor beneath it.
The mass had a face and terribly greedy eyes. When it spoke it used the voice of Fair Wage only deeper and choked with gurgles.
“I feel…. Better,” it said.
“Fight it Fair Wage. You can–”
“Fair Wage?” the thing growled. “Not hardly. I want more!”
It roared and in that terrible moment its mass doubled, swelling until its head nearly touched the ceiling and it’s outstretched arms pressed against the sidewalls.
Corporate Man stood his ground and yelled, “You’re the best of us Fair Wage. The honest one. The–”
A squelchy, slapping thud snapped through the corridor as a big messy greed-infected fist slammed into Corporate Man, hurtling him down the long hallway where he nearly collided with Franklin Buck.
Franklin Buck, not needing any sort of physical prompting, had turned and run at the moment the Greedy-Wage first chortled its initial sentence. The rest of the Union adopted The One Hundred Dollar Man’s tactic and broke into a sprint in an effort to catch up to Franklin, though their main goal was undoubtedly to increase their market share in distance from the horrible greed-thing.
They scooped up Corporate Man in mid-stride.
The Greedy-Wage chased after them, howling and snarling its belchy-farty sounds and threats.
Business Woman yelled as they closed the gap on him. “Get back there and stop that thing with your
called back without actually turning around.
“I don’t see you doing a whole lot.
Any of you. I mean what the
hell? We’re economic superheroes. Why are we just running around chasing and
fighting instead of doing something businessy?”
“Business isn’t all about copper coinage,” said Senior Executive as they caught up with
Franklin. They raced around a two tight corners,
through a small set of cubicles, and down another hallway.
“Well, what else is it then?” Franklin Buck asked, panting.
“Oh there are all kinds of hostile maneuvers and power plays.”
“Like retreat,” said Business Woman.
“When it’s tactically advantageous,” said
His breathing was rough, but his speed hadn’t
suffered from his encounter. Corporate Man.
“Yes. And there’s negotiation, acquisition, merger, and–” Senior Executive said but was cut short by a loud trilling breet from his smart phone.
Mexico. Are we go?” he said into the device. After a moment he added, “Good. Stand by for instructions.”