Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Commander Credit skirted another corner on the surface of the maze and found himself looking down a long, straight pathway. At the far end loomed The Crash, bellowing and beating its chest with the bloodied torso of an overused day trader.
Commander Credit let loose with a piercing war cry and then screamed, “I’m gonna cancel your ass you huge pile of shit!”
He cocked a lever on his cybernetic arm and charged. The Crash roared and thundered across the ledge. Seismic shudderings pulsed through structure of the maze. Commander Credit fired a steady stream of platinum card’s at the monster’s face. A few bounced off, but the majority stuck like porcupine quills in a curious dog’s muzzle. The Crash swiped at the cards, ripping them from its face, the uprooted blade edges black with sticky tar-blood.
And then they were upon each other.
The Crash tried to charge through his opponent, but Commander Credit leaped up and off the edge of the maze, fired a small barbed shaft from his mechanical arm. There was a thick cable that connected the barbed shaft to the interior housing of his arm. The other end jabbed deep into The Crash’s shoulder.
Commander Credit activated a toggle switch on his mechanical arm sending a pulse of electrical current through the cable. The voltage was minimal and had not direct effect on The Crash, but it activated several pneumatic pistons within the barbed shaft and caused the housing of the shaft to expand fifteen to twenty-three percent in size. Commander Credit gripped the cable of the variable-hook and used his momentum to swing out over the trench and back onto the maze ledge, landing behind the enraged creature. He punched a PIN number into a keypad on his arm and a sharp, magnetic strip popped out, running like a blade from his elbow to his wrist. He slashed at The Crash’s exposed ankles. Spurts of thick, greasy tar burst from severed Achilles. The man-creature howled, toppled forward, and slid across the pathway where it teetered on the edge of the trench and almost fell into the labyrinth. Its mammoth hand slapped and locked onto the wall across the void, halting its descent. Thick fingers dug in, splintering the hard material.
Commander Credit leapt forward, slashing. His black magnetic strip slicing into The Crash’s exposed foot.
The hulking creature clamped its legs together, its knees snapping shut on Commander Credit like a rat trap. There was a popping sound and all the air went out of Commander Credit’s lungs. His mechanical arm was pinned up against his neck, the magnetic strip blade and the gold and platinum ordinance inside, now all but useless.
“You…” Commander Credit wheezed.
The Crash tightened its leg vice.
“I’m…” and again he couldn’t utter an additional word. He needed a good quip here. Something defiant and snarky. Something to show that he had met death and was spitting in its eye. But he couldn’t even gasp, or wheeze, let alone be clever.
The world turned grey.