2.c.i
Felix prided
himself on the tidiness of not only his store, but of his personal appearance. He’d inherited the shop from his father and
his father had taught him that, in the jewelry business, there was no
compromising when it came to appearances.
“Think of
yourself like a well cut gem,” he’d say.
“Precision and clean lines. Maybe
a little sparkle.”
Felix had
always taken this to heart. He shaved
every morning and then again on his lunch.
He had his hair cut once a week.
His office contained an extensive wardrobe of fine suits should he ever
wrinkle or, god forbid, spill something on himself during the day.
He preferred
that his customers share, if not an equal appreciation at least a general
tendency toward, neatness. So it was to
his absolute horror when he found himself confronted by the extraordinarily
foul couple at his counter. They stank
like number two and looked as if they slept in buckets of the colonel’s special
recipe.
And where had
they come from?
The door chime
hadn’t sounded in its soft crystalline way and Felix had been Windexing counter
displays near the store front when these creatures had suddenly clamored toward
him from the rear of the store, babbling about greed and the relief of their
hellhole.
Oh god. The horror of that mental image.
Still, a tidy
appearance was only part of a good jeweler’s demeanor. Organizational skills, attention to detail, a
great sense of style, and a confident, pleasant disposition. Which meant he had to lead with politeness.
“Good
afternoon and welcome to Felix.” His father had named him after the store. “I
apologize,” he continued, still the epitome of pleasantry, “but I didn’t see
you come in”
“Yeah, you
wouldn’t have,” the woman said, shooting a dirty look at the even dirtier man.
“Are the two
of you in the market for an engaging piece of hand embellishment?” Felix
said. He loved that question. It seemed a shame to waste it on a pair he
would undoubtedly be asking to leave the shop sooner rather than later.
“I don’t know,
honey,” the woman said, “After all this time are you finally gonna pop that
question and make an honest woman out of me?
Or are we gonna continue with this filthy life of sin?
Felix
blushed. It must be the stink and the
grime. In all his years he’d never asked
a married couple if there were looking for an engagement ring.
“So… what’s
your deal?” the man asked, planting himself well within Felix’s bubble of
personal space. “These diamonds come
from war ravaged regions at the expense of the innocent? Some of this gold fall off a truck? Or are you pushing low-quality merchandise as
high-grade jewelry?”
“I never!”
Felix said, hand covering his heart as he gasped a shocked intake of breath.
“Well he chose
you for some–”
“Oh Corporate
Man,” a woman, one of Felix’s regulars, called out from the other side of the
shop. She was a leathery, tanning-bed
addict, with chemical blonde hair. Her
fingers were adorned with large carat rings, the nails long and salon
pampered. Though she was far from
elegant, she was always pleasant. But
today, Her voice was low and gurgly.
Felix would have to sanitize any of the areas she frequented to avoid
whatever plague she’d had the misfortune to be stricken with. And what was this she was insinuating about
him being a corporate man?
“The shop is
privately owned. My father–” Felix
started.
“He’s talking
to me,” the dirty man said.
“Sir, did you
intend to visit the optical boutique downstairs or something? Clearly she’s–”
“You see,
Corporate Man,” bleach-blonde leather-skin said, “greed exists not only in the
proprietors but also in the clientele.
This woman has closets full of jewelry, expensive clothes, and all the
finer things. She’s never worked a day
for any of it and she always wants more, more, more.”
The noises
coming out of the blonde woman’s throat were nothing short of nauseating. Felix felt a pang in his stomach and fretted
over the possibility of having his neat and tidy demeanor stripped away.
The filthy
couple lunged at blonde/skin but she dodged them and dove behind a necklace
display case. There was a ghastly
chortling noise and a stench that only sewer rates might find appealing.
Felix went
green.
A giant,
greasy, almost translucent, mucousy, greenish-brown, slug-like, wormy thing
streaked across the jewelry store floor leaving a thick, sticky trail. The filthy couple made half hearted attempts
to grab the thing and then chased it out the door.
The thought of
touching that thing sent Felix into the restroom to be sick.