Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Corporate Man became aware of The Greed infestation while investigating Halloween Wholesale Ltd, a company that dealt exclusively in holiday related merchandise. Incidentally, HWL would one day be responsible for bringing color coordinated Christmas lights to Halloween, Valentine’s Day, the 4th of July, St. Patrick’s Day, and Easter. They have yet to crack the Thanksgiving market.
After a merry chase, Corporate Man tracked The Greed into the Jorgeson Bluff neighborhood, one of the largest trick-or-treat destinations in the city.
Back then, when The Greed traveled from person to person, he didn’t invade their bodies, per se. His presence already existed within the host and his manifest-psyche (what would one day become his gelatinous slug-like sewage form) had yet to become a physical thought-form projection of himself, so it drifted superficially from one carrier’s mind to another.
Ironically, he was a slipperier catch in those days, but his host minds were generally quite obvious.
The kid was wearing a Rocket Man Rik spacesuit. It was his third such costume of the evening and he’d been revisiting the houses that gave out full-sized candy bars or lesser candies in fistful quantities. He planned to store the candy and sell it school when everyone had eaten the last of their Halloween goodies.
“What are you supposed to be?” the infected, Rocket Rik wearing boy said.
“I’m Corporate Man,” said
“A hero for capital–” Corporate Man.
“Never heard of you. Your cape looks more like a tie. Should be Nerdman.”
“And you look like a greedy little boy who’s taking advantage of the generous people in this fine, upstanding neighborhood.”
“Shut up, Nerd.”
The white stripes running down the sides of the boy’s space suit glowed a brilliant blue-white that was so bright in the orange, atmospheric haze it made Corporate Man’s eyes ache.
“You aren’t adhering to fair business practices and at such a young age I feel you may never escape corruption.”
The boy’s voice became harsh and garbled. When he smiled his teeth were a dull sickly green. “I get them younger and younger these days. Can’t you see the futility of your efforts, Corporate Man?”
“I’ll give up on the American people when I’m dead,” said
“If that’s what it takes,” The Greed said.
He pounced. His glowing space suit left light traces in the air, his movements becoming a luminous blur. Corporate Man sidestepped and batted the child aside. The boy stumbled and crashed into a mailbox, opening a gash above his eyebrow.
“Is that what you intend to do, Corporate Man? Beat up this small boy? Why don’t you break his nose or fracture his legs to teach me a lesson?”
Corporate Man took a step back and gritted his teeth.
“Oh, don’t think we’re done fighting just because you’re conflicted about hitting me,” The Greed-boy said. He lunged forward, swinging. Corporate Man blocked the punch and dodged a swift kick from little-boy legs.
“Don’t give in. Fight it,” Corporate Man said.
“What on Earth are you talking about,” said Greed-boy as he attempted a leg sweep.
“Life’s not all about money and how much stuff you can accumulate.”
“Oh, dear me. Are you trying to reach out to the little boy I’ve inhabited?” Greed-boy asked. He shook his head. “Pathetic. Simply pathetic.”
Greed-boy charged forward, lowering his head like an enraged bull. Corporate Man spun away and locked his arms around Greed-boy’s neck.
“Fight it, damn it. Fight! Can’t you see that you have more than enough already?”
The Greed-boy struggled, but Corporate Man maintained the headlock.
“All the money in the world can’t buy happiness. You’ll end up isolated and alone.” Corporate Man tightened his hold. “Share. Be giving and generous. That’s the way. You’ve more than enough candy to go around.”
“Hey! Hey, check this out,” a voice called from across the street. “Dude’s beating up a little kid. Trying to steal his candy.”
Corporate Man looked up. A teenager with glowing red hair and a bright skull painted on his face was motioning in Corporate Man’s direction. He wore a black body suit with the bones of a human skeleton emblazoned upon it, glowing in that black-lit blue-white.
“Dude, that’s totally bogus. Let’s kick his ass,” a larger teenager said. This one was dressed like a devil. There were five boys in all. Corporate Man dragged Greed-boy away from the pack and continued his attempts to reach the mind of the child inside.
“Dude! Dick’s trying to get away. After him!” called out devil teenager.
“Fight The Greed, boy. Reject him!” Corporate Man yelled.
“Uh oh, Corporate Man, it looks like you’ve made some friends.”
“Oh shit. Uh… shit,” Corporate Man said, picking up the boy and running. The teenagers broke into a sprint. “Come on kid. Do you think your rocket man guy would be such a greedy bastard? He’d be ashamed of you if he saw you. You aren’t fit to wear his uniform.”
A spasm shook the boy’s body and a loud gurgle belched from his mouth. It smelled like asparagus and wet dog. The teenagers were almost upon them.
“You have to decide. Who are you? The Greed or a space hero?”
The boy’s jaw flew open. Corporate Man twisted away from the gaping mouth, angling it toward the teenagers. A dirty, milky blast of fluid erupted from the boy’s gullet, spraying the angry, teenaged mob.