Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Tanya heard the strange screaming but did not dare risk a look over her shoulder to see what it was. A thudding sound, followed by gasps of pain, confirmed her suspicions that another of The Greed’s human fists had fallen to the floor.
“You touch me with that twenty and it will kill the boy,” The Greed-boy said, his host body still dribbling a nasty gel-paste where the charitable coins had lodged.
“Somehow I doubt that,” said Tanya.
“You’ll have to get close to me to use it,” said The Greed-boy. “You can’t pitch a bill like a coin.”
“That won’t be–” Tanya started, but a foul smelling, wild-eyed teen snatched the twenty from her hand as he screamed past her. He looked down at the money as if confused by its sudden appearance in his hand. When he looked back up he was only a step away from The Greed-boy.
Both boyish forms shrieked like girls and held their hands up in preparation for the imminent collision. Only one had a charitable twenty dollar bill in his hand. There was a noise that sounded like a bug zapper, a dry belch, and an M-80. Following this improbable noise was a burst of brown light, reddish dust, and sticky tendrils, as if someone set off charges in a rotten pumpkin full of iron rich dirt.
When the cloud of debris settled, Tanya could see the two boys lying on the ground, covered in dust and sticky strings. Three brownish slug creatures the size of large sausages slowly inched away from the point of impact. They looked like a mix of gelatin and fibrous ground beef.
Mr. Jones stepped forward with a freezer bag and captured the fleeing slug creatures. “Well, I guess these freezer bags of yours were an appropriate size after all,” he said.
“I think we need to get out of here, Jonsey. You okay to walk?”
“I’m fine,” said Mr. Jones. “In fact, I’m more than that. Everything’s so clear now. I think… I think I’m Corporate Man again. Let’s go get my necktie cape.”