Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Friday, August 31, 2012
The bossman finally relented and asked the receptionist to show Emily from Human Resources in.
He’d kept her waiting for over twenty-five minutes already.
Emily was a slim woman with short, pixie-like hair. He distrusted slim corporate types. Their physique conveyed a lack of greed and a surplus of principles that typically made them an irritant. This stereotype was wholly untrue as he’d met a great deal of trim, narcissistic money-grubbers in his time, as well as some annoyingly honest, chubby angels, but the bossman still maintained his ill conceived wariness.
“You never called me back so I though an in person–”
“Yes, what is it, I’m very busy,” the bossman said.
“I’ve come across a payroll issue in regards to an employee’s salary,” she said.
“No raises. Our hours-based, incremental wage increases are fair enough. Too generous if you want my opinion,” the bossman said and then turned away as though the matter had been dealt with sufficiently.
“That’s not the issue at all,” said Emily, her voice betraying a certain level of frustration she would rather keep concealed from her boss.
“Explain,” said the bossman.
Emily’s head shook of its own accord and her eyes threatened to roll. She gritted her teeth and then said, “I was at an employee’s desk getting the incremental paperwork signed and he questioned me about the amount.”
“Tell him it’s a fair–”
Emily held up her hand and the bossman stopped talking. He seemed a little surprised by his own compliance.
Emily continued, “According to the paperwork he had earned a level two status, but the wage increase put him at a level five. He pointed this out to me and asked if the raise should be for a lower amount. I looked into it. He was a transfer from a different division and his previously logged hours were, for some reason, not factored in when he started here. He was, therefore, given the entry level wage and the incremental status of level one. He worked under the assumption that because he had entered a different division, his wage level started over. But, since level one in our division had a higher wage than the level three of his former position, he hadn’t questioned the apparent loss of hours worked. But his status should not have restarted and not only should he be given the incremental status of level five, he should also receive retro pay dating back to his transfer date. I have all the paperwork here. I just need your signature.”
The bossman narrowed his eyes. This was just the sort of thing he didn’t want the Big Bossman seeing. Approving large raises and forking over back pay. He shook his head.
“No. We keep him at level two and decrease the raise accordingly.”
“What? That’s unethical.”
“That’s business. The employee in question believes that his wage should be level two. In fact, it’s what he was expecting so it’s not like he’ll miss those extra dollars that may or may not belong to him.”
“They do belong–”
This time it was the bossman who held up his hand and Emily exhibiting the compliant silence. After allowing the pain in his ribs to subside he said, “Always pay your employees as little as they are willing to accept. There is no reason to give them more money if they are willing to work for less.”
He waved Emily toward the door and, as soon as she was gone, he began calculating how much money he’d just saved the company and how much that savings would increase his next bonus.