Satisfied Customers 14

Our final Satisfied Customer for our call-center-focused week is very special indeed. She, like our hero Corporate Man and his associates Business Woman, Senior Executive, and the rest, is a card-carrying union member. She is (just check out the official jacket) a Teamster. Now, we don't know what you've heard, but we still sense a negative undertone from the Teamster name. We don't believe any of the wild rumors ourselves, but sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry so we've asked this operator to close her eyes to protect her identity. Technically, reading non-company approved literature while on the job is against union bylaws (at least we’re pretty sure) so we better not allude to that fact or insinuate that she was doing so, even though we've gone to great lengths to protect her identity. But I don't think the Teamsters would mind. Corporate man is a part of the Union after all and he fights for, among many other things, workers rights. So seriously, it's okay. We're on the same side. Whatever happened with Jimmy, we don't care.

Sorry, where were we? Oh yeah, Cherie. I mean, this completely anonymous call-center operator. Somehow she got rich, and somehow it was because of the Corporate Man book.  And it definitely was not because she defied the Union or anything like that.



Don't be the last one in your cube-area to own the all new 
Book Two of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man. Follow this link https://www.createspace.com/4148636 and purchase as many copies as you're able.  It's for a good cause.

Satisfied Customers 13

You never know what a call-center employee actually looks like when you're talking to them on the phone. Take this Satisfied Customer for example. Is it a ball of hair propped on a sweater? A tiny shrunken head with a regular sized mouth and lips under a vast mane of hair with a headset lost somewhere within dark curls? One of Corporate Man's many enemies, cleverly infiltrating a call center in order to gain access to literature that reveals many secrets of highfinance and corporate economics?

All you can really be sure of when you're on the phone with a call-center operator is that there is cake for someone's birthday somewhere in the building or that a themed potluck is spread out in the breakroom. The crappy service you are receiving might be the result of sentient hair creatures, shrunken-head-bigmouths, or a clever enemy of our hero Corporate Man, but more than likely it is because you are interrupting operators just as they got to the part about the sharks, keeping them away from the potluck in the breakroom, or preventing them from filling their mouth with delicious cake.


Don't be the last one in your cube-area to own the all new 
Book Two of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man. Follow this link https://www.createspace.com/4148636 and purchase as many copies as you're able.  It's for a good cause.

Satisfied Customers 12

Today we examine another Satisfied Customer who comes to the world of Corporate Man through call-center work. Taking a slightly different approach this operator maintained the illusion of exemplary service while answering calls. However he also took note of each caller's personal information and would call them back at his leisure, usually in the extremely early hours of the morning, and read random chapters from The Tragic Death of Corporate Man in a breathy, rumbling, Barry White voice. The first chapter was always for free, but additional chapters required a hefty PayPal transaction.


Don't be the last one in your cube-area to own the all new 
Book Two of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man. Follow this link https://www.createspace.com/4148636 and purchase as many copies as you're able.  It's for a good cause.

Satisfied Customers 11

Continuing with our series featuring call-center employees turned Satisfied Customers we now shine the spotlight on this operator who used a natural sense of ingenuity and Corporate Man gleaned lessons to devise a strategy that would allow her to comply with the demands of her job while advancing herself up the economic ladder.

In between calls she completely rewrote call-center scripting to better accommodate her long-term goals. Gone were any phrases that required active listening and/or involved problem-solving. In their place were strings of generic platitudes and filler. While she absorbs the intricate philosophies of Corporate Man, her mouth reflexively mutters a memorized list which includes gems such as: yeah that's too bad, uh huh, I know what you're saying, really, that does sound terrible, I'm sure it will all get sorted out, well do what you got to do, it's been taking care of, try not to worry so much, perhaps you wouldn't be so upset if you’d calm down, and I'm hanging now.

She's in the process of selling her scripts to corporations around the country, and US dedicated call centers in India, China, and the Philippines. Recently she began working from home, taking most of her calls from a wireless headset as she works on various household projects or, weather permitting, tends her vegetable garden. "Honestly, I don't even realize that I'm taking calls half the time it's become so automatic," she said in a recent speech at a conference on call-center technology. "I've even started wearing a headset to bed and take calls while I sleep."


Don't be the last one in your cube-area to own the all new 
Book Two of The Tragic Death of Corporate Man. Follow this link https://www.createspace.com/4148636 and purchase as many copies as you're able.  It's for a good cause.

Satisfied Customers 10

In this week's batch of Satisfied Customer updates we will be focusing on a specific field of employment, a sector of the workforce that we can absolutely not do without, the secret envy of our hearts: the call-center worker. Simultaneously we will investigate a recent anomaly plaguing call centers across the country, something which affects us all, the decline in service from our beloved call-center operators.

There is but one cause for this anomaly, and that is Corporate Man.

Recently a box of Corporate Man books was detained at a distribution hub for a huge delivery corporation. Reports are unclear but it is thought that the package was fishy in nature, having an air of intelligence and sarcastic wit about it. It sat for months in a cage with the overnighted (an subsequently confiscated) controlled substances and mislabeled fecal-swipe lab packs until one night when an impromptu employee party (having something to do with a recent layoff or closure announcement) required a little kick and the cage was, naturally, opened to satisfy this need. At some point during the festivities the box containing the Corporate Man books magically fell open spilling its blessed contents onto the warehouse floor. Copies quickly circulated throughout the company further derailing productivity, especially in the call centers of this failing company.   Which brings us to our first Satisfied Customer of the week.

She claims that the book simply “arrived on her desk one day” and that, at first, she only read chapters of it in between calls.  As she became more engrossed in the narrative she started placing customers on extended holds to get in just a few more pages. Then it was on to equipment sabotage – a mangled headset here a damaged phone line there – and finally the disappearance of her phone altogether. She requisitioned a dry erase board and began working the economic formulas contained within the pages of the Corporate Man text.  And after that came the Wall Street investments.  Forbes is doing a piece on her next month detailing her successes.