Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
“We’ve tried that,” Tanya Jefferson – aka Business Woman – said to the man behind the desk. “We followed the signs with the ‘red fives’ but ended up in a gift shop instead of at an exit.”
“I’m so sorry,” the man said, lightly brushing the ginger colored fuzz of his upper lip with his middle finger. The woman was quite attractive and he hoped she might notice his thickening moustache and pay him a much deserved compliment. “There was a changeover in hallway labeling recently, but I’ve managed to get the current key-code listing e-mailed to me. So exits, once marked with a green letter E, changed last week to the red five. It appears as though the designation has changed again, this time to a brown two.”
“So we follow the brown number twos?”
This was the third time the woman had visited his desk today. She was obviously into him, and he’d always had a thing for black girls. Why hadn’t she mentioned his ‘stache yet?
“That’s what it says, but if you run into trouble again… just come back here and find me.”
He leaned forward and flashed his eyes in what he hoped was an attractive way. The woman smiled. Was this approval of his eye flash or did the light suddenly glint off his facial hair, capturing her gaze with its lustrous twinkle?
“Thank you… Roger,” she said, glancing at his name badge during the pause between the thank you and his name. Then she turned to her companion –a male companion he noted, surprised by the jealousy– and motioned toward the brown twos.
Roger was delighted when the woman returned twenty minutes later. She was scowling. He found the severe expression very seductive.
“Brown two,” she said, pausing long enough for him to nod an enthusiastic gesture of understanding, “marks pathways to several restroom locations.”
“I’m so sorry, Miss…” he figured that it was time he knew her name.
“Not that it matters, but you can call me Ms. Adams,” Tanya Jefferson said.
“Ms. Adams,” he said, a shiver running through him. “I apologize. Let me find out what’s going on. I’m not supposed to do this, but for you,” he winked, “I’m going to break protocol and phone upper management.”
Roger pressed and held a bottom on his head-set and said, “Code 58008… Yes, this is Roger at Help Desk Nine. I have a guest here who is having trouble finding an exit… Oh no, red five was replaced with brown two according to this morning’s e-mail, however, brown two seems to mark restroom locations… Oh… yeah, very funny. Right. I know. I think someone in corporate is being cute and paying themselves a lot of money to come up with all these changes. I know. Yeah, and how much extra money do I get for all the extra work their on-a-whim changes create at my level?”
“Roger?” Tanya said.
“Oh, sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. “So yeah. Where does the guest need to go to get out of this place? Uh huh… Oh, okay… And you’re sure about this? Thanks.”
Roger released the button on his head set and said, “So as a result of follow up surveys and comment cards, corporate has discovered that numerical labels were confusing to our guests and even illegal according to certain building codes which require that exits be clearly marked in specific ways. Maintenance is, at this very moment, installing exit signs over all exit doors and convenient exits signs with arrows to lead guests to those previously referenced final exit signs.”
Tanya leaned forward, her lips trembling –from repressed passion Roger assumed– as she tried to smile, and said, “Could you kindly point us toward any one of these numerous exit signs?
Roger winked and lifted his hand slightly, gesturing toward an overall-clad maintenance man perched atop an aluminum ladder, leisurely installing an exit sign.