Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Bright yellow stars burned through the black and white.
Dale Breaker The Deal Breaker was choking him. Mr. Jones struggled to get free but could not dislodge his attacker’s hands. He tried to speak but talking was impossible while his larynx was being crushed. Mr. Jones bucked and thrashed but Deal Breaker held on tight.
“Oh, I’m afraid this is it,
Do you even know you’re Corporate Man? Doesn’t matter. I’m about to break this deal and–” Corporate Man.
Tanya boxed Dale’s ears and kneed him in the face. One of her eyes was swelling shut and blood from her nose smeared her mouth and chin.
“You all right?” she asked, though she didn’t actually risk a glance in Mr. Jones’s direction. She pounced on Deal Breaker and elbowed him in the back of his head. His teeth and tongue scraped against the floor. She slipped a knife from her boot and brought it to his throat.
“No,” Mr. Jones said, his voice raspy and strained.
“We have to end this,” she said.
“You’re right. But not this way.”
Tanya reluctantly removed the knife from Dale’s throat.
Mr. Jones leaned down in front of Deal Breaker. The man’s eyes were rolling around but he was conscious.
“I broke your grandfather’s back, didn’t I?” Mr. Jones said.
“You crippled him,” Deal Breaker said. The words stumbled from his mouth over a swollen tongue, two broken teeth, and a lot of blood. “He couldn’t shit on his own because of you.”
“You’re sorry? That’s it?”
“I can’t change the past,” Mr. Jones said.
“Yeah?” Dale said. “Well I can fix the future. I’m gonna break this deal.”
“What deal is that? There’s no deal, Dale.”
Deal Breaker narrowed his eyes and bit his lip. He winced as the jagged points of his broken teeth punctured through. “But I… you know, the deal. I’m here to break the deal.”
“Dale, if there’s a deal, I’m not part of it,” Mr. Jones said.
Dale’s head sagged to the floor. “But what about the bull? The china shop?”
Mr. Jones shrugged. “Couldn’t tell you. It was only a few short hours ago that I rejoiced in the company of spit and my world revolved around the pleasures of urination. The only contract I can see in this situation is the one your grandfather accepted when he signed on as the original Deal Breaker. You could fulfill his function and break that.”
Deal Breaker lifted his head and his eyes widened. “Yeah. I… I guess I could break that deal. That would be the ultimate deal to break, wouldn’t it?”
“I think so, Dale,” said Mr. Jones.
“Then call me Donald. That’s my real name. And as of this moment the Deal Breaker deal is off.”