Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
“Once we get this upgrade installed we’ll be back in business,” the CEO said. He held a power drill with a very aggressive bit. In his other hand was a clunky metal box. A tangle of wires sprouted from one side and a toggle switch stuck out on the other.
Positioned on the desk in front of him was Matt the Manager. Matt was on his hands and knees, navy blue slacks around his ankles, bare ass in the air.
“Will this hurt?” Matt the Manager asked.
“Oh most certainly,” the CEO said. “Didn’t you see the size of this thing? Still, no pain, no subordination, right?”
Matt whimpered and said, “I suppose… Isn’t there some other way?”
The CEO scowled.
“Listen Matthew. You need to ask yourself if you want to be a part of this company?”
“Oh, trust me, I am,” Matt the Manager said.
The CEO continued unimpeded, “And if the answer is yes then what sacrifices are you willing to make to be successful? How can you work more efficiently, save the company money, and broaden our market share?”
The CEO set the metal box on the desk, gripped Matt’s left butt cheek, and test fired the drill. Matt flinched at every successive whir.
“I thought I was doing all that,” Matt the Manager said. “I keep my payroll low, full-time personnel to an absolute minimum. I always–”
“You are in need of retraining. And a software upgrade. Please… just try to enjoy it.”
Mr. Jones and Tanya stood in the doorway, mouths agape.
“Are you also suppressing the urge to vomit?” Tanya asked.
The faces of the CEO and Matt the Manager snapped toward the door like two startled teenagers caught by un-knocking parents.
The CEO hissed like a cat.
“This isn’t, uh… We weren’t,” Matt stammered. “It’s all office related.”
The CEO stopped hissing, his face suddenly the epitome of calm.
“That will be all, Matthew. Please pull up your pants and wait outside. I’ll print out some instructions so you can finish the upgrade at home.”
Matt the Manager scrambled off the desk, fumbled his pants into a less incriminating position, and fled for the door.