2.a.vii
The bossman
opened up a chat window and typed <well?>
The response
was swift <nothing yet. alerts are out over all twelve districts. no
sign>
<and the
other corners?>
<south and
west report negative results. east side
has yet to provide an update>
That bitch, the bossman thought but did
not type. Then he typed it and added an
mf and a few other expletives that he would never allow himself to send across
the company intranet. He deleted the
remark, closed the chat window, then pressed a button on his desk phone.
“Get me that
bitch on the East Side .”
There was no
reply. Oh yes. That’s right.
Ms. Adams had defected to the other side and this morning’s temp had
already quit. Quit or had been fired, he
couldn’t remember which. He looked at
the buttons on his phone. There was a
grouping of four; separate from the standard numbers and interoffice speed
dials. They were designated N, E, S,
W. The bossman scowled for a moment and
then pushed the E. A ringing tone came
from the speaker.
“Incorporated
Business Corporation Incorporated.”
The bossman
cleared his throat and said, “Don’t jerk me around missy. I need to speak with your boss right now.”
“Sorry,
sir. She’s in a meeting,” the cheerful
voice said.
“No she’s
not. She has the same job as I do and
there are never any meetings. And, if
there were a meeting, I would be there.
And if it were a meeting that I was not required to attend then it would
be something that she could get out of without any issue.”
“Which branch
are you from?”
“Not that it
matters, but the North Side,” the bossman said.
“Thank you,
sir. That will be just one moment.”
There was a
slight pause.
“Yep. She’s in a meeting.”
“Stop it. Right now.
I am not amused by this whatsoever,” the bossman said. He enjoyed using the word whatsoever. Not as much as using abbreviated curses in a
chat window, but it was still a bright spot in any conversation when it presented
itself.
“I can put you
through to her voicemail,” the cheerful secretary suggested.
“Do not! You
will transfer me to her cell phone.”
“I’m sorry,
sir, only a privileged few have access to that number.”
“And I am one
of them.”
“Oh. Well congratulations sir. How thrilling for you. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“Yes.
Transfer me to her gd cell phone!” the bossman said. And though he loved abbreviated curses in an
online forum, he loathed it when they slipped out in an oral conversation.
“I’m sorry,
sir, I must have misunderstood you. I
thought you said you have access to the number.”
Then bossman
clenched his jaw. When he finally spoke
his voice was considerably louder than before.
“I am authorized to call her cell. I’m just… away from my desk right now. So put me through.”
“Sir,” the
cheerful voice said, becoming slightly less cheerful. “The line we are speaking on is an office
line. Direct from your desk phone to
that of my boss, routed to my phone because she is otherwise occupied.”
“Just call
your boss. Tell her it’s me. Then put me on the line with her,” the
bossman yelled.
“Please hold,”
the cheerful voice said, her tone bordering on curt. There was no hold music. Instead, the bossman had to endure nearly
four minutes of corporate back patting and messages intended to bolster
enthusiasm in the company. The bossman
felt his enthusiasm for the company waning.
“What?” a
gruff female voice said, finally interrupting the corporate propaganda.
“Fire your
secretary,” the bossman said. “She’s
incompetent and kept me on hold for nearly five minutes.”
“Actually, it
was four. And the bulk of that time was
just me… leaving you on hold. The call was transferred to my phone over
three minutes ago,” the bosswoman said.
“I hate you.”
“No. You’re just jealous of my success.”
“Are you
saying you’ve located the bull?” the bossman asked.
“Sadly,
no. And I’ve been too busy firing people
over it to look into the matter myself.”
“Then file
your negative sighting report, damn it.”
“I don’t like
negative reports on my record,” the bosswoman said.
“It’s an
information update advising the other branches that you have not located the
bull yet. IE… Search results negative.”
“Still sounds
bad,” she said. “Now, I really must
disconnect. I haven’t finished counting
all of my bonus money yet.”
