Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Friday, May 3, 2013
“No you wouldn’t believe the things that exist in the bowels of this building,” Franklin Buck said as they slowly drifted up the elevator shaft on glacial blue water. “There’s a weightless room, big as football field, teaming with schools of Middle Men. I only survived cause this weird Siamese twin named Profit/Loss was in a positive mood and–”
“Was this after you escaped the boudoir of the provocative Pink Slip?” asked Commander Credit. A wry smile curling on his swollen lips.
“Hey, shut up about her. She had some sort of… power.”
“I’ll bet she did?” said Senior Executive.
“That’s called business acumen,” said
“Quit! Anyway, it doesn’t matter. She fired me. After that I found myself in a colony of mindless children. They’re forced to watch television ads all day long. Poor things walk around with this glazed look in their eyes and their mouths hanging open. The whole place is run by Baron Advertisement and The Duke of Marketing. Well, these bastards sent a whole legion of these kids after me, controlling them like drones using simple visual cues and jingling tones. They had me surrounded.”
“How’d you get out of that one?” Senior Executive asked.
“I just started punching them. They’re kids, you know, and kids hate getting punched.”
Business Woman shook her head and glared.
“What? What would you’ve done?” said Franklin Buck.
“Well, for starters, I wouldn’t–”
A hissing noise, followed by a metallic clunk, silenced the conversation.
They remained adrift on their float tubes. Each scanning the walls for a set of doors, but finding none. Then a seam opened in the ceiling and bright beam of light cut across the water. Two panels slid open above them, whisper quiet.
“This could get nasty,” Corporate Man hissed. “Be ready.”
They continued to float up to the edge of the shaft. The bright light stung their eyes and prevented them from seeing much of anything. A soft clicking, faint at first, grew steadily as they rose. Then, through the haze of the blinding light, a black form emerged. A man. He had pale skin and dark rings under his eyes. His hair was jet black, cropped short, and had a round shape.
As he approached they saw more of him. He dressed entirely in black. His attire looked like that of a military officer by way of goth obsessed designers. The stripes, insignias, and pinned on pendants were all black as well.
The man yawned and then polished his trim, black fingernails against his chest. He continued to stand there as they floated up toward him. Finally he said, in a low, disinterested voice, “That’s the problem with this pool elevator. It saps all the drama out of an otherwise intimidating entrance.”
Corporate Man shifted on his inner tube. There was no effective defensive position, bobbing in a small pool as they were.
“Please,” said the man in black. “Just wait for the water to rise. It’ll be much easier and less awkward in the end.”
“Wait. I know you,” said Senior Executive.
“Indeed,” said the man in black. “And I welcome you back into the fold. Junior.”
“Apathy!” Corporate Man shouted and leapt from his inner tube.