8.g.
The first level
of the pyramid structure was wide and flat.
A stubby guard rail ran along its edges, the chief function of which was
to keep the furniture, various desks and tables, from toppling over the
side. The floor was highly polished wood
and a carpet runner divided the space unequally leaving twice the width toward the
center as the area nearer the edge.
General Apathy
led them down the carpeted path. He
gestured half heartedly at the executives who sat comfortably behind their
desks or gathered around tables, and said, “The aforementioned financial
advisors and corporate strategists.
Please do not pet or feed the animals.”
As they walked
along the path, snatches of conversations drifted in the Union ’s
direction. Corporate Man paused.
“Look,” a man
at a desk said into a chrome plated phone, “it’s a surefire way to increase
sales. Yeah. Change your label. Go with something simple. Lose the serifs on your font and do away with
anything ornate. Customers are having a
rough go out there and an expensive looking label with just make them think
you’re flaunting your wealth in their face.
No it’s true. Focus groups have
proven it. I understand that you’ve had
the same label for decades and that it’s considered iconic, but that’s going to
work against you now. Customers will see
the new label and know that you gave someone a job. You sacrificed your iconic branding to do
this. Yes. Yes, exactly.
No, you’re the first I’m sharing this with. Exactly.
Alright.”
He hung up the
phone, consulted a list on a chrome clipboard, and crossed off an entry on the
fourth page with a chrome pen. He dialed
a number from the next line down and after a moment he said, “Dick! How’s it hanging? Yeah, I’ll bet. Listen, I’ve got a line on
something big. It’ll boost sales through
the roof. Yep. No, it’s simple. Change your label.”
“Corporate
Man,” General Apathy said. “Please. Let’s not delay too much, shall we. No need to steal industry secrets or
anything. All will be available soon.”
They continued
along the path.
More
conversations wafted past them like rancid gas.
“…thinking? I told you–
No. No! That whole ‘I can help you’ line is tired. Everyone is using it now. Same with the ‘is
there anything else I can help you with?’ closing. From here forward…”
“…the next level. It’s time to add a big screen television on
the sales floor to broadcast the game.
Everyone’s wearing paraphernalia of the local team, the TV deepens your
commitment in the customer’s eyes and they will shop longer because they’ll want
to…”
“…solely black
and white. No color unless it’s on a
tie. Clean and clinical, that’s what
we’re going for. Yes. Yes. I
understand there’s an element of fashion to your industry, but try to think of
your employees as displays upon which the fashionable eyewear is to…”
They turned the
corner and walked down the next side of the pyramid. There was more milling around in this
area. More tables, less desks. Executives grouped around each other like gossiping
teenagers.
Near the guard
rail, each indulging in fantastically small cups of Turkish coffee, were two
executives. One said, “I told him,
listen, outsourcing is good for America . We save a ton of money by sending jobs to
foreign countries. This helps build up
those country’s economies, right? Then,
down the line, when those countries have amassed a measure of wealth, they’ll
want to cut some corners, save some cash, and they’ll outsource a bunch of
crappy jobs that no one living there wants anymore. And who do you think they’ll try first? Us, I say.
So really, outsourcing is a way of creating jobs for Americans. It’s an investment in our future.”
Corporate Man
stopped again.
The callous,
shortsighted greediness. He was about to
step off the carpet and approach the two executives with his slapping hand when
he felt a light touch on his wrist.
It was General
Apathy.
“And what good
would that do? What would you
accomplish?” the General asked.
Corporate Man
opened his mouth, ready to fire off a string of benefits that his actions might
bring about.
Be he could
think of nothing.
So they moved
on.
