8.n.
“Is anyone
thirsty?” asked John Q Public. Without
waiting for an answer he gestured and an apparatus dropped from the
ceiling. It set out crystal flutes and
filled them with a sparkling, faintly bluish water. John Q Public lifted one of the flutes to his
nose, inhaled deeply, and then drank the contents in a single swallow.
“Water. Trapped inside veins of sapphire. I could build three Jacob
Center Towers
Reluctantly,
everyone drank.
Everyone except
Corporate Man.
John Q Public’s
grin widened and then he gestured toward a blank wall. A holographic image appeared in front of it
displaying a graph featuring a thick, up thrusting arrow.
“Note the
chart,” said John Q Public. “In the past
ten years the increase of wealth for the rich in this country has made a steady
climb.”
He gestured
again and another arrow appeared next to the first. This one sagged downward, sad and
emasculated.
“This graph
depicts the financial standing of the middle class during the same length of
time. What do you notice?”
“Two dicks,”
said Business Woman.
“High returns
are erect and obviously virile.
Diminishing yields are flaccid and underdeveloped,” John Q Public said. “And yes, this is intentional. Not just for the inherent humor, but
subconsciously it preys upon the fears of male board members and
executives. Particularly those related
to inadequacy and impotence. In other
words, if you don’t show large returns you have a small penis.”
John Q Public
paused and stared directly at Franklin Buck.
“What?”
Franklin Buck said. “I don’t have…
diminishing yields.”
“And there you
have it,” John Q Public continued. “This
is the basic primal level of thinking that the Union has
been up against all these years. That
initial drive for alpha male status.”
“What about all
the women coming into high level positions?” asked Business Woman.
John Q Public
laughed. “Yes. It’s a big problem. Now, I suppose most of you are aware of a
popular cry that is being voiced these days, calling for the deregulation of
business. It’s being pushed by us, of
course, but middle class Americans are really eating up this line of thinking,
saying crap like, ‘Oh, those big, greedy corporations will do right by us. Let ‘em run fast and loose. They’ll fix things up for us little
guys.’ Sure. How quickly they forget the prime mortgage
disaster and other wonderful gifts from the deregulated sect. They buy in deeply to the propaganda that
regulated businesses are automatically stunted whereas deregulated ones will
grow and prosper. Why yes, they do grow
and prosper. At the expense of the
little guy. Pushing beyond the limits of
sustainable greed at the detriment of economic health. Worried only about the big dick on the
graph.”
“But that’s
you,” said Corporate Man.
“True.”
“So what is
this? What are you doing? Bragging about how you put one over on the
rubes? What?”
“Illustrating a
point,” John Q Public said.
“I see no
point,” said Corporate Man.
“Exactly.”
Corporate Man’s
face pinched, “What? Make sense!”
“Let’s look at
it this way. Deregulation of business is
like a man not wanting to wear a condom.
Sure, the business is better without the hindrance of protective
regulation. But then what happens? Oh no!
And STD or an unexpected pregnancy.
That diseased and potent business splits leaving behind an infected
wreck of an economy with a huge poop machine to take care of.”
“And that poor
economy used to be a sought after, hot piece of ass, too,” said Business Woman.
“Right, and Big
Business is just a dirty-dick man with a dishonest tongue, hiding behind a
pleasant face, maybe a sixer in the abs department, and nice twinkly eyes.”
“And now has his eyes on some perkier, Asian
fair,” said Business Woman.
“Exactly.”
“Hey! Don’t start agreeing with him,” Corporate Man
shouted. “He’s the dirty-dick man in
this situation.”
“I’m not
denying it,” said John Q Public.
“Then what are
you doing?” Why are we here?” asked Corporate
Man.
“Well, it seems
to me that you’re wasting your time trying to stop dirty-dicked men,” said John
Q Public. “But then, what can you really
do?”
“When you can’t
change the pig-animals you have to protect and educate those they prey on,”
said Corporate Man.
“You mean, the
dumb Americans we’ve been discussing?”
“Your term, not
mine,” said Corporate Man.
“And by the
time you educate them, they are old and invalid. Indoctrinated with the message that old is
weak and dumb and youth is to be forever worshipped. An entire crop of eager-beavered bimbo
children conveniently awaits our harvesting.
The cycle repeats. Maintains.”
“No! People will only take so much,” said Corporate
Man.
“Not if they’re
too stupid to notice,” said Senior Executive.
“Don’t you
start, too,” said Corporate Man.
“What? It’s true.
People don’t even question anything anymore,” said Senior Executive.
“Genetically modified foods. Vaccines
for anything and everything, needed or not.
Pills to counter the negative effect of other pills. They think its good because it medical
science when it’s actually shady business.
The populace at large doesn’t know how the foods we’re being served have
been modified and what the resulting product might do to a person’s body. Science magic did it. And it’s cheap so that’s good too.”
“You know who
you sound like?” asked Corporate Man.
“Who? John?”
“No. Him,”
Corporate Man said, pointing at General Apathy.
“You were under his sway once before.”
“That was
different.”
“And you,”
Corporate Man said, turning toward the General, “You’ve been suspiciously quiet
during all of this.”
“I’m just here
for ambience,” said General Apathy.
“And to distort
the mental state of everyone gathered around this table,” said Corporate
Man.
“I’m a part of
every corporate transaction. The phrase,
‘it’s just business,’ is rooted in apathy.
Capitalism and I are indistinguishable.”
“I want his out
of here,” said Corporate Man.
“Do you think
that will help?” asked John Q Public.
“He’s infecting
everyone.”
“With
what? Himself?”
“Yes.”
John Q Public
cocked his head slightly and said, “Two things.
One. As he said, all business is
infected with him. Two. This is my meeting and he stays.”
“Then I’m
leaving,” said Corporate Man.
“You’re as free
to go as you were free to come,” said John Q Public. Corporate Man halted, mid step, and then
turned back toward the table. John Q
Public continued, “Yes. I see the
dilemma. What would all of the effort
have been for then? What of the
sacrifices? The colleagues lost?”
“I should kick
your ass,” said Corporate Man.
“Ah yes. Might make right, does it?”
“That’s not
what I’m saying.”
“I am. Isn’t that what we were already
discussing? Except financial might as
opposed to the physical,” John Q Public said.
He smiled without sneering.
Corporate Man
sat down.
