8.e.
The inner tube
beneath Corporate Man shifted and his feet failed to find adequate purchase for
the attacking leap he had intended.
Instead, his arms flailed and his torso twisted in a manner that was far
from heroic. His attempt to engage his
necktie came a moment too late and he sputtered against the wall, pathetic,
clumsy, and eventually submerged.
“I told you,”
said the man in black. “I said, ‘Just
wait and it would be a less awkward exit.’
For those of you still on your tubes I would urge you to look to
Corporate Man as an example of the forewarned awkwardness.”
Corporate Man
climbed back onto his inner tube and they waited for the water to finish
filling the elevator shaft.
After forty
seconds, or so, Franklin Buck asked, “Apathy?
As in Captain Apathy? My father
mentioned him.”
“Yes. But as some of you may recall. I was promoted. I’m a General,” said General Apathy. “How is your father these days, Franklin?”
Franklin Buck’s
face darkened and his jaw flexed. “You
know exactly what happened to my father,” he said.
General Apathy
shrugged. “Quite true. More than you’d want to know I’d wager. But you exacted your revenge. Hopefully that takes some of the sting out of
it.”
“What do you
mean? What revenge?”
“Your
performance on the thirteenth floor. The
way you man-handled Professor Inflation.
Quite poetic. Fit for a Hollywood
movie,” said General Apathy. When
Franklin Buck looked away without responding, General Apathy continued, “You
mean you didn’t know? That’s rich. And here I get to be the bearer of such
wonderful news. Consider your father
avenged, One Hundred Dollar Man. ”
The water level
finally reached a point where the Union could climb out
of the pool without much effort.
“And I see
you’ve reclaimed his gold standard,” General Apathy said as Franklin Buck
pulled himself from the water. “It would
seem as though all wrongs done you have been righted. As for the rest of you, would you like to
continue on in wet clothes or would you prefer a quick dry off? We can even have new suits here within the
quarter hour.”
The Union
stood staring at General Apathy, filtered, geothermally-heated glacier water
dripping from their torn suits.
“So…” said Corporate
Man.
“Are we gonna do this?”
General
Apathy’s face took on a confused but bemused expression.
“Do what?” he
said. “Choose from the options I
mentioned?”
“No.”
“Then please
explain.”
“Well, fight, I
guess,” said Corporate Man. “You know… Attack each other. Battle
to the death. That stuff.”
“Why?” asked
General Apathy.
“Why what?”
Corporate Man said.
“Why battle to
the death?” said General Apathy.
“Well, isn’t that…
I mean, I…” Corporate Man said. “It’s
kind of how this whole place has worked so far.”
“Nonsense,”
General Apathy said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Who have you killed? Who’s dead?”
“How about Fair
Wage? Supply and Demand?” said Business
Woman.
“Unfortunate
things occur during conflict, but the point of each exercise was not death,”
said General Apathy.
Corporate Man
cocked his head, narrowed his eyes, and said, “Are you saying that, after
everything we’ve been through, all we’ve overcome, we’re not going to fight?”
“Precisely,”
said General Apathy. “This floor is the
executive suite for the entire company.
You’ve made it to the top. And
here at International Business Corporation Incorporated we don’t fight. We aren’t savages.”
“Then what do
we do?” asked Business Woman.
“We have a
meeting, of course.”
“That’s
it? We have meeting?” said Corporate
Man.
“I believe my
prior statement should have confirmed that,” said General Apathy.
“After all you
put us through?” said Senior Executive.
“Oh, I’m sorry,
but I don’t recall inviting you up to the office. You came of your own accord and if you
encountered difficulties during your trespass I do apologize.”
“So there’s no
else waiting to attack us? Mr.
Unemployment isn’t going to crawl out from a floor panel when we least expect
it?” said Corporate Man.
“I should think
not,” said General Apathy. “I wish I
could accommodate your request but, like I said, we don’t operate in that
manner on the top floor. And besides,
Mr. Unemployment is a little busy right now don’t you think? I doubt we could get him here if we wanted
to.”