Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Friday, August 15, 2014
“Tess. I need to see you in my office,” the bosslady said as she drifted by the cubicle of the hard working Miss Adams. As usual, she did not dirty her eyes with an actual glance into the cubicle, suffering her peripherals the unwanted task of verifying whether or not Miss Adams was at her desk.
She was there, of course. Where else would she be? The bosslady had not given permission for, nor set a task that would require, her to leave the area. Still, you couldn’t leave it chance. These lowlifes were always trying to filch extra breaks. Getting water to drink, going to the bathroom. Doing it all on company time. If the bosslady had it her way, all cubicles would be equipped with giant water bottles hooked over their carpeted walls with stainless steel nozzles jutting out from the bottom, located somewhere near the computer monitors so these vermin could rat-lick the tube without the need to saunter down the hall to the water cooler. That damned water cooler where they chatted like hens, clucking about her and the rest of the executives. Not that she cared if they talked about her. She liked to think that their discussions revolved solely around her in fact. It was just that they were stealing company money when they did it on the clock like that. Giant hamster bottles would end that water cooler crap real quick.
And each desk would come with a special chair. A toilet seat. Except the plumbing would be rather expensive. A Port A Potty. Yes, that was better. That way they had no excuse to leave the desk unless they were on their unpaid lunch breaks. Or diapers. That might be more economical. In a fiscal year, how many diapers could one of them go through? What would the overall cost be in comparison to the initial investment of a Port A Potty? She’d have to figure in the cost of service calls to empty the portable toilets. If the first diaper was issued for free and all subsequent diapers had to be ordered from a company catalog… That would create an entirely new revenue stream!
The bosslady sat at her desk and began typing up the diaper proposal.
“You wanted to see me,” Tess said from the doorway.
“Not now!” the bosslady shouted. “I’m onto something!”
Tess flinched and then slunk from the door.
“Oh wait!” the bosslady called out. She did not stop typing but multitasked her fingers and her mouth. “I do have something I need to discuss with you. Please sit down.”
Tess sat. The bosslady typed. Tess fidgeted. The bosslady giggled, low and impish. A few minutes later her fingers stopped moving and she looked up at Miss Adams.
“Tess,” she said and paused for an uncomfortably long time. “You’ve been with the company for a long while now.”
“Yes. I haven’t been with the company as long as you have–”
“Less than two years,” said Tess.
“Right. I know we like to hire from within and I know you really wanted the supervisor position, but sometimes another applicant comes along and we just can’t afford to pass on him or her. Their talents are such that should we fail to add them to our team it could be detrimental in the long run.”
Miss Adams lowered her head. Good. This was good. The bosslady loved it when subordinates were subservient.
“I know you’re disappointed, but this man, Donald Jackson, will be a pleasure to work for. He’ll do good things at this company. He’s just the sort of person this corporation needs.”