Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Monday, March 12, 2012
“What are you looking for anyway?” Tanya asked. Mr. Jones was rifling through the desk where the defunct CEO was still seated.
“I don’t know, actually,” Mr. Jones said. “I don’t even know why I shorted the CEO out like that. Kind of going on instinct here.”
“Why not search him?” Tanya said, pointing to the CEO. “He’s bound to have something important on him somewhere.”
“Yeah, but is that a search we really want to conduct? You saw what he was up to when we walked in here.”
“Exactly. Still…” Mr. Jones sighed and then checked the CEO’s pockets. “Hey, do I have a tie somewhere? You know, a special kind of–”
The CEO lurched forward, biting at Mr. Jones’s hand. Mr. Jones jumped back, yanking his hand away, and let out a startled yelp.
The CEO made no further movements, and everyone remained frozen as seconds slid by like glaciers. Tanya and Mr. Jones shared an exasperated look and then inched toward the CEO, advancing slow and cautious.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself,” the CEO said. His voice sounded different, strained and bubbly like sweaty flaps of skin clapping together. “A detainment team will be here shortly, but I wanted to be the one to confront you,
“Who are you?” Mr. Jones said.
“What? You don’t recognize me? How depressing. We’ve shared so many good times together,” the CEO’s mouth said, though it seemed to open and close independently of its jaw muscles and tongue. The CEO’s eyes were rolled back in his head, the blood-shot whites twitching, the eyelids fluttering.
Mr. Jones held his hand out, palm toward the CEO as if sensing something. He grimaced and shuddered. After another moment his eyes snapped open and he said in a low, breathy growl, “Greed.”
“Wonderful,” the Greed said with the CEO’s mouth. “Anyway, that was fun. Pleased to see you, but you know, money to make, taxes to dodge. Must go. Oh… and you can die now.”
The CEO rose up out of his chair, held aloft by a sticky looking, pinky-white tentacle. The tentacle drew back and then swung the CEO forward like a club. Mr. Jones and Tanya dove out of the way and the CEO’s body bashed into a filing cabinet. The tentacle drew back again and swung, missing the intended targets again and upended a potted plant that sat in the corner. There was a flurry of violent swings, like a cat struggling at the end of a leash, but Mr. Jones and Tanya managed to avoid the attacks. The CEO’s face slapped against the surface of the desk, his head rebounding with a disgusting fleshy knock.
On the next swing Mr. Jones pinned the CEO’s body against the desk and when the tentacle pulled back it found little give and yanked harder. On the third of such yanks the tentacle pulled itself free from the CEO’s backside. There was a sucking, schlooping noise and a horrible reek.
“Don’t let it get away!” Mr. Jones called out, but it was too late. The thing had slipped out of the room.
“Hey, don’t look at me,” Tanya said.
“Well, how’d you expect me to stop it? No way was I grabbing that slimy, stinkin’ thing. What the hell was that anyway?”
“He’s called The Greed.”
“I know who The Greed is. I’ve never seen him like that before.”
“He’s a living embodiment of that desire,” Mr. Jones said. “Just his proximity is a taint that most cannot resist. This must be a new, mutated form.”
There was a commotion in the hallway, just outside the office door.
“Looks like he wasn’t lying about the detainment team,” Tanya said.
“We need to go. Now. You see another way out of this office?”
Tanya pointed to the floor. “Not that I want to, but we could follow that trail of slime The Greed left. He didn’t use the door.”