Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Monday, October 29, 2012
“Who wants to read this page?” asked Jack.
Business Woman raised her hand and smirked. Jack nodded toward her. She made some mumbling humming noises and then read the last word on the page aloud and clearly.
“Super,” said Jack. “Now, let’s implement some of these techniques.”
“What’s going on?” asked Franklin Buck.
“Yeah. Did I miss something?” Fair Wage said.
“Ah, there you are, Betty,” said Jack as Betty walked into the room. She held a ledger in one hand. “Betty will go over the measures with which we will cut down on spending. Betty?”
“Thank you,” Betty said, smoothing the sleeve of her lavender blouse. “Refreshment expenditures are the largest area of unnecessary expense. If you note subsection E of paragraph nine under article one, you will see that we’ve managed to turn this loss into revenue. Hence forth all refreshments and snack food items will carry a nominal fee. I’ve taken the liberty of noting everything each of us in this room has partaken of and drafted invoices. The cost may be deducted from your paycheck or simply be paid up front.”
“Thank you Betty. Please send a memo to the rest of the staff and distribute bills accordingly,” said Jack.
Betty passed out invoices and then left the room.
“Wait,” said Franklin Buck. “So… are we employed here now? And seven bucks for a coffee? This is crap coffee not an extra large, triple shot, caramel latte.”
Corporate Man gestured to
that the Dollar Man should calm down.
“But I can’t afford this,” Franklin Buck said.
“Jack,” said Corporate Man, ignoring
Franklin. “As it is mandated by government regulations
that employees shall be provided prescheduled breaks, I suggest we observe such
a break at this time and continue when we return.”
“Oh. Break time already? Take five, people,” said Jack. Then he slumped forward in his chair as if he were catching a little cat nap.