Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
“Donkey!” Corporate Man yelled, his hand pressing against Donkey’s abdomen. “Hold on. Help is on the way.”
“I’m… I’ll be fine. Oh, oh god it hurts.”
“Don’t talk,” said
“Why did she shoot me?” Donkey asked.
“What did I do to her? I don’t even know who she is.”
“I think she was trying to hit me,” Corporate Man said.
Donkey’s face pinched. “How could she miss? You were right there.”
“Come on, man. Don’t talk,” said
He glanced over at Business Woman.
She and Franklin Buck were tending to The Elephant’s injuries. Supply and Demand were busy trying to
stabilize the kidnapped executive from the IBC Inc. North Side office. Senior Executive knelt on the crazy, gun
toting woman. Corporate
“Help is on the way,” Corporate Man said again.
“No. You can’t let them catch you,” Donkey said.
“Well we can’t leave you here to bleed out. Now shut up and conserve your strength.” Corporate increased the pressure on the wound. Donkey squealed. Startled, Corporate eased off.
“He got to me first. I was scared. And he said he could help me. That I just needed to keep you from infiltrating his operation. He’s the one in charge of it all.”
“Shut up, Donkey! You weak hearted fool,” The Elephant spat. He struggled to stand but Franklin Buck and Business Woman pushed him back to the floor. Fresh blood spurt from his shoulder. He continued to struggle but surrendered in a heap of breathy grunts when Business Woman jabbed her hand, knife like, into his groin from behind.
“Where’s that ambulance?” Corporate Man shouted.
Panting, Fair Wage ran up and said, “I just got off the phone with them. They said that no one had called in yet, but that they did have a unit in the area. It should only be a minute or two.”
Donkey coughed and clutched at his stomach. When the spasm subsided he said, “His office is the top floor of this building.”
“That’s good, Donkey. Saves us the trouble of searching the place,” said
“Listen to me. You can’t just hop on the elevator and ride up there.”
“Shut up you tree hug–” The Elephant started but was once again reduced to wheezing groans by Business Woman.
“Secret entrances. In the building’s corner columns. In back is the service elevator. Up here is the one he uses, but don’t try it. If you get into that one you’re dead. Use one of… of…”
Donkey passed out.
“Oh shit, oh shit. Is he dead?” Franklin Buck asked.
“No. Unconscious,” said
They could hear approaching ambulance sirens. Corporate Man lowered Donkey’s head to the
floor. Then he marched over to the
bossman and grabbed him by the throat.
“How do we get in?” Corporate
The bossman’s head lolled around and he said, “Sorry. That’s confidential information of Incorporated Busin–”
Corporate Man pressed his thumb into the bullet wound in the bossman’s cheek. “Tell me.”
The bossman cried out. Corporate Man released the pressure.
“Oh my god, I’m gonna throw up. I’m gonna die,” the bossman said. He squealed and whimpered and then, in a slightly calmer voice he said, “I’m gonna die and then throw up and after that I’ll be sent to a hell full of teenaged drivers.”
“Tell me how to get in and you won’t go to hell,” Corporate Man tried.
The bossman laughed. Then he winced at the pain this caused. When he’d recovered, he shook a finger at Corporate Man and said, “Oh no. Not falling for that silly ruse. Besides, if you aren’t a corporate executive… you don’t get in. Period.”
Corporate Man bit his lower lip and allowed his gaze to wander. The sirens outside were much louder now. He nodded unconsciously, and then he stood and called out to the
Union, “Let’s go. And bring him with us.”
“Wait. What about Donkey and the others?” Fair Wage asked.
“The paramedics are here. They’ll take care of them.”
“Where are we going?” asked Franklin Buck.
“We’re going to become corporate executives.”