Corporate Man is called in to investigate reports of vile, unethical business practices at Great American Business Company. What he finds there just might destroy him (except we all know the ending to The Tragic Death of Corporate Man so it should be fairly obvious that it can't really destroy him, though it can come close).
Enslaved by the Bonus Whores is an all new Corporate Man Adventure Serial. Chapters will post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Commander Credit was the only one fully clothed. The rest of the
Union stood around, shivering in
their skimpies, waiting as their clothes dried.
Except for Fair Wage. He wore no
underwear as a rule and was, therefore, bare-assed naked.
“You know,” said Business Woman, “despite being old and wrinkly, you’ve still got a firm butt.”
Franklin Buck groaned and said, “I was hoping we could get through this without comments like that.”
“What? It’s true,” Business Woman said grabbing Fair Wage by the shoulders and turning him so his backside faced
Franklin. “Look at it.
Tell me that’s not a fine piece of ass.”
“God. Point that thing somewhere else.”
“You’d prefer the other side?” she said. Corporate Man and Senior Executive tried to stifle laughter.
“Isn’t this sexual harassment?”
“Not at all,” said Fair Wage. “I call it welcome attention.”
There was a round of laughter. Then Supply and Demand went to the dryer to check on the clothes.
“Convenient that this gym came equipped with laundry facilities,” Supply said, opening the dryer door. The words she muttered next were quite foul.
The clothes were gone.
Also missing was the backside of the dryer. In its place was a hole. This hole led into a hallway. The hallway looked exactly the same as all the corridors they’d been in on this floor already.
“Well,” said Corporate Man, “for the comfort of everyone involved, I suggest that Fair Wage be the last to climb through.”
“We’re really going in there?” asked Senior Executive.
“I don’t see any other choice,” said
“We’re half naked,” said Franklin Buck.
“Not all of us,” said Commander Credit with a smirk, his hand gesturing subtly to his full wardrobe.
“Yeah,” said Fair Wage, without the smirk but with the same subtle gesture, “not all of us.”
“The longer we discuss this,” Business Woman said as she climbed into the dryer, “the further away our clothes will be.”
The rest of the
Union climbed through the dryer and into the hallway
on the other side.
Fair Wage went last.
There was an abundance of awkward running that followed as the
tried to maintain modesty and support while hurrying down the corridor. There was an uncomfortable slapping sound
which they all tried to ignore but could not.
It subsided when Business Woman barked an order at Fair Wage insisting
that he secure his assets.
The shambling crew ran down many hallways, sped around dozens of corners, made lefts and rights in all manner of combinations.
“There they are,” Corporate Man hissed. Ahead of them a group of workers dressed in office casual disappeared around a corner. The
increased their speed and rounded the corner only the find a stubby, dead-end
hallway with no doors.
“Uh…” said Franklin Buck.
“Wait a minute,” said Fair Wage with enthusiasm usually reserved only for those who received insider information. “Were there towels in that gym?”
Everyone looked dumbfounded and guilty. Like an investor brought up on charges for insider trading.
“Hey, was that hallway there before?” asked Commander Credit, breaking the strange silence.
About twenty feet back the way they’d come was a doorway leading into another corridor. Corporate Man examined it as though it was a heavily worded contract with slippery language and semantic traps.
“Did anyone see this as we ran by?” Corporate Man asked.
Shrugging was the unanimous response.
“All right people. Eyes open. Stay frosty. I don’t think this place is as stationary as it might seem.”